What?! This statement was made by a perfectly sweet well meaning relative over the holidays and I couldn't disagree more. The conversation went something like this:
"We need to cash in the savings bonds and put them in a 529 to get more interest. We need all the help we can get to help B with college. At this rate she will be lucky to get her books paid for by us."---Me
"You shouldn't bring children into the world if you can't afford to pay for their college."--Relative
"Well, even if we could save $50 a month until she went to college that would only pay for books plus a little bit more."
Conversation tapers off....I leave the room....
Later I asked my husband if he was offended, and he most definitely was. We are probably going to end up having a conversation with this relative.
So, here's the deal. I totally disagree with this statement and train of thought. I think if you are willing to make sacrifices to afford to meet the basic needs of a child, and you are willing to love them, and nurture them, and teach them then you can have children. I do not think being able to pay for college is a prerequisite at all! I had a close friend who had parents that COULD HAVE afforded to pay for her college but they didn't. This friend of mine is one of the most hard working people I know. My parents probably couldn't really afford to pay for my college but they did, and I am very thankful. But I also wasn't as appreciative and didn't have the best work ethic and didn't understand the value of a dollar until many years after college.
When my husband and I think about having children, we believe the most important thing is for them to grow up loving the Lord and loving others. We hope they will desire to glorify Him with the lives in whatever career path they choose, college or not. We pray that their greatest desire is to make disciples of all nations and live lives serving Christ. We are bringing children into the world as this being our greatest goal for them. We will love them, nurture them, affirm them in whatever career path they choose because to us that isn't the main thing. The main thing is Jesus and living for Him.
The reality is that by the time our children go to college it will be at least 20,000/year for a state school. There is just no way we could afford this for one child, let alone more. Maybe in the future our financial situation will change and we will be able to pay for a good portion of our children's college. And if we can't I can say to them, "Honey, I am sorry that we won't be able to help pay your college. Do you wish you would have never been born?" And I am most convinced they will say "No, I am very glad I was born." They can live at home and go to a community college, take online classes, or go to a local state school. And they can work their way through school, grow in work ethic and perserverance, and be all the better for it.
So yea, that's my two cents on that!
I would have been offended by that relative, too! My parents did not pay for my college; I was fortunate enough to land a job right out of high school, where my employer paid for 100% of my tuition and books. I am forever grateful for that. Not once have I thought that I shouldn't be here, simply because my parents couldn't afford my college education!
ReplyDeleteHappy New Year to you!
My husband is not at all encouraging our children to attend college. Of course, we will support them if they want to go for a specific career, but they will be working and paying their way so they can avoid college loans like the plague. Here's why...
ReplyDeletehttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VpZtX32sKVE
If the link doesn't work look for "College Conspiracy" on YouTube. It is produced by the NIA (National Inflation Association)