Why We Used a Midwife and Had a Homebirth...it's in my genes!

 I posted this over a year ago on my previous blog, but I thought it would be fun to share before I share my birth story.

It’s weird to me to even feel like I have to explain why we are using a midwife because I grew up thinking natural home births were common. That’s probably because my mom had me on the couch at my doctor’s house with a midwife assisting. Then I witnessed (along with the rest of my family…grandpa and all) the natural births of both of my brothers at the doctor’s birthing clinic. It wasn’t scary at all to watch my mom go through birth naturally and without medication, it was such a neat experience that I thought was “normal”.  She birthed each of us and was home in a matter of hours.

As I grew up and started hearing about people having babies in a hospital and having to stay a few days, I thought that was so weird. Come to find out, most of the world thinks the way my mom did things was weird, but not to me. That’s my norm.

And it doesn’t stop there. Both of my aunts on my dad’s side, had all of their children at home, one was even a breach, and was perfectly healthy. My aunt Terri had all 5 children at home. Talk about a wonder woman! And I am so proud of my cousin Kindra for being a certified midwife! Yay! Go Kindra! I wish you lived closer or I lived closer or whatever.


So I never really questioned what I would do if given the option (some states still have laws that don’t allow you to make your own choice about your own birth). I knew I would birth at home or in a clinic with a midwife or a “natural doctor”. Well, I’m not sure Memphis has “natural doctors”…if anyone knows of one let me know. And Memphis has no birthing clinics. So, as long as everything proceeds well and I remain low-risk, the plan is to give birth at home with my midwife and husband assisting.

So am I just choosing this because its in my genes? Well, no…I did my research. I think every woman should research all the birthing options out there before deciding. So often we just go with what we think is the only option, or whatever we are used to or think is the norm.  I don’t have anything against hospitals. I am very thankful for hospitals and doctors. I have seen doctors and been to hospitals before, but I try to stay away if I can.  But I don’t view birth as a medical condition, so I began to think “why would I treat it like one?” For a woman that is low-risk a home birth is just as safe or safer than birthing in a hospital. And I am oh so excited that I won’t have fluorescent lights in my face. And I am also pumped that I can eat if I want, and move around, and get in the birthing tub! Woohoo! I am so excited about that! And if I want to watch movies and listen to music or walk around the block I can do that too, although I don’t want to scare the neighbors. haha
So anyway, I am really excited about laboring in the comfort of my own home with my wonderfully talented and capable midwife assisting, and my precious husband. And we also plan on letting my mom assist since she is a pro! I will be so sad if I am like 3 weeks overdue and the baby is 11 lbs and I am forced to be induced. I am so praying I can follow our desired birth plan.

I have dear friends who have birthed naturally in a hospital (either because of state laws or personal preference) and had great experiences. But actually one of them has naturally birthed in a hospital twice and plans on using a midwife next time so that will be fun! And I have a best friend that had complications and had to have a c-section. Of course she wasn’t excited about it, but it is what was needed for a safe outcome.  So please do not hear my passion for midwife and homebirth as judgement on anyone who does things differently.

But I think people need to be informed about other birthing options, because so many women think a hospital birth with an iv, epidural, and pitocin is the only way. And so many doctors make it seem this way as well. All the women I’ve talked to that have had home births have totally loved their birthing experience. But I also know woman who have birthed in the hospital that have loved it too.

Now don’t get me wrong, I am not excited about the pain. But I am excited about trusting my body and learning how to deal with the pain through natural childbirth. And I am excited about being alert during and after birth so I can remember the experience (well,as much as that is possible) and so I can hold my baby right away. Oh yea, that is another thing that is so great about homebirth. The midwife is so sensitive to let the mother and baby bond and work around that.  That is a great plus to homebirth.

Some people might be offended or feel like I judge them for not having a home birth, or natural birth. Not the case. I just want to express the birthing option I am passionate about and give it some PR because I don’t think enough women look into or are educated about it. So when I post links and articles that is for education not condemnation. Read them if you want to learn more about another birthing option, and if you don’t want to learn don’t read them. I can’t make you. Just like you can’t make me go get strapped down in a hospital. 
A safe delivery and a healthy baby is the most important thing, no matter what birthing process takes place. I just think not enough women know about the benefits of home birth so that’s why I share.
And I wanted to share why I am personally deciding on this birthing method for all those people out there who say, “what the heck? chalise is using a midwife?” yes, that’s the plan…but learn about it before you freak out.


link to my midwife’s site: www.chosenbirths.com
great website www.mybestbirth.com
great movie: www.thebusinessofbeingborn.com
www.birthingnaturally.net

Lindsay Freeman shares the story of Evangeline's home birth

I wish I could deny that I have seen the episode of "the office" where Jan explains to everyone the details of her home birth in a birthing tub but I can't. I actually cringe at that episode because of how ignorant she seems to be that everyone is embarrassed by her TMI. With that said, no worries: no TMI in this blog.

I chose a home birth for one main reason...I wanted to have as natural a birth as possible without being talked into interventions or a cesarean. I was fearful of most OB's because of how notorious Memphis is for cesareans and its outrageously high infant mortality rate. In the process, I actually learned a wealth of information about the pros and cons to hospital and home births. But say no more I'm not writing to exert my opinion...just my story.

My due date was no earlier than August 24 and no later than September 3. By the end of July, I was begging God to let me go into labor early! I felt so uncomfortable! As August rolled around, Daniel and I were house/dog sitting for some good friends and we were really enjoying the household amenities that we lack in out apt (washer/dryer/dishwasher...ah, heaven). While we were staying there I went into labor and it wasn't anything gross...just 10 min apart contractions. My labor started August 6 at 10 am. I called Daniel and he came home from school to help me clean up the house and get ready to go over to my parents house to have the baby.

We took our time because the mid-wife said that it would be a while before I delivered. Labor wasn't that bad. I had to take a breather every 10 min but I wasn't dying of pain...yet. 12 hrs later, we were finally at my parents house, my water broke. Good grief, I never felt more pain like that in my life. 5 min after my water broke, my brother-in-law comes over for a visit. At that point, I hadn't had a severe contraction yet. As we were in conversation, I start screaming with no ability to calm myself...poor guy...he'll probably never want to marry now. He left quickly and that's when all the birthing class practices and knowledge went out the window! I didn't breath like I was supposed to. I didn't want to listen to Daniel, my supportive doulas. I didn't let Daniel touch me except to place cold rags on my head. I didn't even open my eyes for a long time after that. (10 PM)

I was in hard labor for 1 hour...I think I was lucky but I felt far from that during each contraction. At that point I hopped in the tub...which didn't make me feel any better. A contraction came, I tensed up, and my mid-wife would tell me to just go with the contraction....whhhhaaaa? I was hurtin' like holiness...go with the contraction??? so what did I do? Didn't listen...I had no idea how to calm down. (Plus we still had 1 more birthing class to make and it was called 'what to do when you panic during labor'...that would have been helpful).

(11 PM) I was still in the tub and had the urge to push...so I did. This was the best part because the hard labor was over. Pushing didn't hurt me at all. I pushed for 31 min and then our baby girl was born. I was thankful for the tub because I was buoyant and there weren't any uncomfortable pressures on my body as she was coming into the world.

So that's the story...with many unnecessary details left out. I was glad I did a home birth! I'm healing quickly and adjusting to being a mom and a mom as a wife.

Oh by the way, Daniel was the man! He was so encouraging and really great at helping me stay focused till the end! I kept saying, "I can't do this...I can't do this..." and he would calmly and reassuringly say, "Yes you can, Lindsay"


For first time 'moms to be' that read this anyway, the first week is tough. Listen to your gut and make boundaries if you have to. I loved all our visitors very much but I began to get overwhelmed as I was trying to figure out how to nurse and deal with the surge of hormones that were leveling out (I was 10x more emotional this past week than I was during pregnancy). I cried a lot and really needed to spend a large amount of time alone with the Lord, the baby, and Daniel in order to be at peace as I was figuring out the first few days of being a mom. So we had to stop having visitors which was not their fault but my need to get myself together. There is almost a spiritual rebirth that comes after the first week of having a newborn! You feel mobile, capable to sleep more comfortably, learning your baby, and an ease with the dreaded 'nursing.' Hang in there, it gets easier! REST. Rest. Rest. 

Lindsay Freeman blogs at To The End of the Age . She is an amazing artist and an excellent writer. She writes so beautifully about spiritual issues, among other things. She is a dear friend and one of my few real life moms that is a misfit mama like myself here in Memphis. I love her dearly. Check out her blog 

Jennifer's natural hospital birth and the arrival of Neilan

My Little Neilan,

When learning of your due date at six weeks along, I should have known to think it was only an educated guess. You were going to make your debut when you were well and ready.

I started the school year with a new batch of kindergartners in August 2010 at just over 31 weeks. When the middle of September came along I began to look for signs that I’d be holding you in my arms shortly…still no signs except a little cramping which I attributed to being on my feet all day. At 37 weeks I was already dilated to 2 cm and 50% effaced. We were making progress! By my 39 week appointment I was a 3 cm and approximately 90% effaced. Woohoo! Labor could begin anytime and Dr. Ricketts believed you’d be here anytime.

I began to get anxious wondering if you’d decide to make your grand entrance in the middle of the school day with a bunch of wild kids, so I made my last day of work the Friday (September 25, 2010) before your due date (September 27, 2010). I ended up waiting, walking, cleaning, sitting on the exercise ball, sleeping, waiting, walking…oh and waiting. Ha!

At my 40 week appointment, there still was no sign, but I still felt great! I had some minor “contractions” along with some cramping. I continued to express my desire for a natural birth, least invasive as possible. My main wishes being no induction or epidural. Having completed much research, I knew patients with pitocin often had more intense labor leading to more epidurals and possible Ceserean Sections to protect baby from heart rate increase/decrease. Dr. Ricketts said to come back at 41 weeks and we’ll see where to go from there. I was perfectly fine with waiting, except for the people that kept asking when my due date was and I’d have to say “Last Monday…” 

On Sunday, October 3, 2010 (Daddy’s birthday) we decided to go to dinner and movie since it was getting closer to your own birthday. During the movie I knew I felt stronger pressure than I had before but assumed they would stop like they had in the past. That night I did not sleep well, but pain levels were no different. We went to my 41 week at 1:30 p.m. appointment and were disappointed to find that I was still at 3 cm. Dr. Ricketts was also concerned that my amniotic fluid level was decreasing. She told us to come back to check in at the hospital at 4:00 p.m. and she was going to break my water to speed things along. I still did not like this idea, wanting you to come on your own, but it was a much better idea than Pitocin! We called Nana and Papaw Carter since they would have to travel from Illinois to be here for your birth.

When we arrived at the hospital, after taking about an hour to get checked in, we found out I’d started to dilate on my own to 4 cm. and then shortly to 5 cm. We walked around the labor and delivery floor a few times and sat on the birthing ball. Dr. Ricketts came back at 8:30 p.m. and broke my water. Before breaking my water, contractions were just a little tightening in my abdomen area, but it was instant pain after my water broke. I quickly moved to 7 cm. at 9:30 p.m. and then to 9 cm at 10:00 p.m. Your Daddy and I had practiced some simple relaxation techniques for me to get through contractions, but none of that really seemed to be necessary. Low moaning/breathing sounds and a quiet room was the way I needed it to be. I was able to get in the shower for a little while, but it was not as helpful as I had hoped.

I began pushing around 10:45 p.m., but looking back now I believe I may not have been all that ready for pushing. Or maybe I was not pushing the right way…because it continued for a LONG time. Around midnight Dr. Ricketts wanted to see if you would turn into a different position so I had to hold off on pushing, which was very intense. How are you suppose to stop pushing when all the power in your body is trying to get a baby out? It took a lot of concentration, but luckily around 12:35 a.m. I was able to start pushing again and you began crowning. At 1:00 a.m. Dr. Ricketts used the vacuum to assist as I was tiring after nearly two and half hours of pushing. I used up all three of my “assisted pushes” and Dr. Ricketts had the OR prepped for a C-section since my pushing efforts did not seem to improve despite the vacuum and time. When she mentioned that, it gave me the boost of confidence I needed to complete delivery in the way that we’d wanted from the beginning. I guess that’s when I learned to really push. There was no way at this point that I was going to give up.

One more push and your head, then shoulders were out! The rest went very quickly. It was amazing how “painless” the actual delivery was to me. I guess at that point my nerves and emotions were high and pain was the last thing on my mind. It was the most amazing moment to have you my sweet son, Neilan, laid upon my chest. Your head was held high as you opened your eyes bright and looked up at me. You were the most beautiful sight I had ever seen. You were born at 1:34 a.m. on Tuesday, October 5, 2010. You weighed 7 pounds 14 ounces and were 20.75 inches in length. Your head was fourteen inches in diameter. I carefully checked you over for all your fingers and toes and you were just so alert and perfect in every way!

It was a long night but I do not think your Dad or I got any sleep that night. We, along with Nana and Papaw Carter and MeMa and PaPa Bruce marveled over the sight of your new life. We are so lucky to have you and thank God every day for you, our blessing.

Cindy's story, a 54 hour labor!

  Cindy and I both saw the same midwife and she was due the beginning of May with myself and another girl due May 14th and 15th. Well, said other girl delivered beginning of May and Cindy ended up going into labor on May 13th, along with myself. This left our midwives and doula to do double duty, something that had never happened before. Here is her story:

My husband, Griffin, and I started out our pregnancy the normal route, going to a ob/gyn and planning to deliver in the hospital. Then, around 6 months in, we started feeling very strongly against our original plan because of all the hospital interference with what we felt should be an intimate, natural event. We started considering home birth, even though we only have a small apartment, and found our wonderful midwife, Lynda Hoskins. She kindly helped us, though I was so far along. I immediately felt so much more comfortable, and as though I wasn't just a "patient".

We went through a wonderful childbirth preparation class with Sarah Stockwell, and got more and more excited about the home birth. The pregnancy went well, but the due date came and went. The midwife checked for dilation, but I was only a little effaced with no dilation. Every day I thought, "Maybe this baby will come today" and hoped and prayed he would. But God had some patience to teach me or something.

Finally, at almost 42 weeks, at 2 AM Thursday morning the 13th, I woke up feeling contractions. I was so excited and started timing them at about 20 min. apart, so I woke Griffin up and we called the midwife. She wisely told us to try to sleep as much as we could and call her if the contractions got closer together. So we slept a little and went about the morning somewhat as usual. The contractions were definitely there, but nothing to scream about. We baked bread, cleaned house a little, went for some walks, watched the movie "Patch Adams," and took it easy.

My contractions gradually got closer together, about 5-10 min. apart, so we called the midwife again and she sent her assistant, Dee (the CNM), over around 9 or 10 PM because Lynda was with Chalise, who was in labor at the same time. I was thinking, "Maybe we'll have our babies at the same time!". Dee checked me, and I was still only half effaced and 2 cm dilated. Around midnight Chalise had her baby, which gave me some hope of actually delivering a baby, and Lynda came around 2 AM. I was getting pretty tired at this point, so Griffin and I had slept a little again. I woke up at 2 AM with much stronger contractions around 5 minutes apart. Well, the hours ticked on with not much dilation, I kept eating and moving around. The midwives said I ate more than most women they've seen in labor!

As the contractions got more intense, sometimes double-peaking, Griffin had to help breathe and relax quite a bit. Around 10 PM the midwives checked again, and I was about 4 cm. They suggested we go to the hospital because they were concerned I would be too tired to push the baby out. I was getting exhausted, and rather discouraged and hopeless that the baby would ever get out. Griffin and I prayed and talked it over, and decided to go. I had not packed for an emergency trip, so we quickly gathered what we thought we would need and headed off. I was somewhat excited to go to the hospital, because it seemed to offer some assurance that this labor thing would have an end. But we were also sad to give up the home birth dream.

We got to the hospital and they did their normal procedures, while my contractions still hurt like crazy. They put the epidural in, and my blood pressure dropped severely because my body is extremely sensitive. But what a relief when I could finally relax without feeling the contractions so strongly. Griffin, the midwives, and I all slept the rest of the night except for a visit from the ob. He broke my water to try to help speed things up. That was a surprisingly hard thing for me, because it didn't feel right or natural. The nurses kept increasing the pitocin, but then I started to feel the effects of it emotionally and asked them to stop. The next morning I was still only 5 cm, and the doctor decided we should do a c-section. Griffin and I again prayed and talked, and felt God give us a peace about it. Once the decision was made, 54 hours after labor began, I felt a great deal of relief and joy that this baby was finally going to be born! They prepared me and wheeled me into the OR, which was very bright and white, and there was Michael Jackson playing, both of which I didn't really like. When Griffin came in, all I saw were his eyes, and it was such a relief and comfort for him to be near and hold my hand.

Then the moment came, at 8:55am on May 15th, 2010. I felt a large tug, then we heard our baby for the first time! It was such an amazing moment with indescribable feelings. I saw him briefly before they carried him over to the table to clean him. Griffin went over and touched his face and talked to him, then they let him hold him and bring him to me. I was surprised that he was the most beautiful newborn I had ever seen. Griffin held him so I could kiss his face, and it was so soft and warm. We decided he was definitely a Matthew.

I didn't expect to be so shaky after the surgery, but finally recovered enough to try nursing. It was frustrating at first, but we finally caught on after a few days. The days in the hospital were a blur, but it was wonderful with deeper emotions than I could have imagined. And even though things didn't turn out how I wanted, I learned to value relationship above any dreams I might have. 

Thank you Cindy for sharing your story. What a sweet blessing Matthew is!

Baby Braddock's Arrival Into This World after a 30 hour labor!!!

Braddock’s Birth Story

Braddock (my second pregnancy, but my first and only born) was due August 10th, 2010. I believe I was about 3cm dilated and 100% effaced at my check up appointment after his due date. My doctor was strongly urging me to schedule an induction. I was not happy about that as I was planning and really hoping and praying for an all natural childbirth. I reluctantly scheduled the induction (knowing I could cancel) and went home to walk, walk, walk and pray, pray, pray. That weekend I think I had been in early-labor because I was waking up from contractions pretty regular at times and more intense than Braxton-hix, but… the contractions would pass. After walking a lot on Monday, August 16th, I laid down to take a much needed nap because I had not been sleeping well (because of the night time contractions). As soon as I laid down, I began feeling some pretty intense contractions – and this is where the beginning of my 30 hour labor starts:

• 2pm Monday, Aug.16th: Intense contractions start going from 10 minutes apart to 4 minutes in less than half an hour. These contractions felt different than the contractions I had been experiencing. I knew by their gaining in frequency and intensity that I was finally in active labor. Yay!!!
• 3pm Monday: I call Ryan to come home from work so he can prepare us for the hospital. (Even though Ryan came home, I wouldn’t permit him to be in the bedroom with me where I was laboring. I had to focus pretty hard on those contractions and I just wanted my doula to come!)

• 4pm Monday: Our doula arrives to help me cope with the contractions and help us decide when is best to go to the hospital. 
• 6:30pm Monday: Loading to go to hospital. My contractions were getting more intense, long, and about 3 minutes apart. We assumed I was about 6cm and decided we didn’t want to risk waiting at home any longer.

I am so thankful for this time at home with my doula. I really wanted to stay home as long as possible and make it to the hospital just in time for transition. Even after all the reading, research, planning, etc. I had done to prepare me for a natural birth; I was pretty shocked at how quickly my contractions were gaining in intensity. A natural tendency for me was to tense my body and start panicking. Those 2.5 hours alone with my doula were so helpful, as she was able to help me find a rhythm of coping with the contractions in a calm, relaxed manner.

• 7:30pm Monday: Admitted to the hospital. 5cm dilated and 100% effaced.

This was a bit discouraging to find out. We thought I was further along. My doula had guessed that I was nearing transition. After being admitted, I stuck with the rhythm I had found earlier with handling the contractions, which consisted of rocking, keeping my eyes closed no matter what, and no talking (I ignored every nurse that tried asking me the stupidest questions because they apparently didn’t understand that I was focusing on not screaming to high heaven!). I think being in the hospital definitely through me off because I was interrupted with questions, tests, etc.

• 1ish am Tuesday, Aug.17th: Still at 5cm and not progressing at all! Actually learned that I was going backwards in effacement and station. I begin asking (begging) for epidural at this point.

I was doing so well in the birth tub with handling my contractions – I think I could have stayed there all night…. But, the nurses made me get out after a couple hours for more tests. I was so exhausted at this point that I was literally passing out between contractions and being woken up with them again. I was losing my mental and emotional energy to keep me calm. It was at this point that I “broke” psychologically and emotionally. I totally lost the energy and focus I had before to cope with the contractions. And I was extremely discouraged that after all my best efforts to relax my body and stay calm, that I STILL wasn’t progressing. According to all the books, I was doing what I was supposed to be doing do progress.

• 2-3ish am Tuesday: After managing contractions on my own for about 12 hours, I finally get a light epidural – a lower dose of epidural allowing me to still move my legs and change positions in bed.

 

Such relief came with that epidural! I was able to rest and sleep in order to gain some kind of energy back. My main focus at this point was to conserve as much energy as possible so I could still “push” Braddock out and not have to have a c-section because I was unable to push.

• 7am Tuesday: Still at 5cm and not progressing! Doctor strongly recommends they break my water to avoid a possible c-section. Water is broken. Doctor reports that Braddock is in good position.
• 8am Tuesday: Another doctor reports that Braddock is actually in the wrong position (and probably had been the whole time) – explaining the intense back pain I was feeling earlier and why I was not progressing. Doctor strongly encourages pitocin to speed up labor. I decline in hopes that I can change different positions to encourage Braddock to move and speed up labor on our own.

I was hesitant with starting pitocin to speed up labor because I knew that could increase the risks of distressing Braddock and could again lead to a c-section. I feel like we were faced with so many tough decisions. But in the end, we really felt God’s peace and presence with us along the way.

• 12pm Tuesday: Still not progressing after trying various positions for a couple of hours. Doctor is concerned that I would need c-section to get Braddock out if I didn’t start progressing soon. Start pitocin to speed up labor.

Braddock remained very active, even jumping around in my belly, while all this was going on. He was showing superb results on the fetal monitor. My doula even commented on how she had never seen a baby do so well after an epidural and pitocin. The nurses agreed. This made me and Ryan feel more at peace about the decisions we were making along the way, as Braddock was my main concern in not having any medical interventions in the first place. I certainly wasn’t trying to have a natural birth just for the sake of doing it natural!

• 5pm Tuesday: Finally progressing and ready to push. Start pushing. I was able to do some mother-led pushing since the epidural was light and I could feel some of the contractions and pressure. Close to 2 hours of pushing and Braddock starts to go into distress. Doctor very concerned and wanted to get Braddock out ASAP. Doctor gives me an episiotomy ( another birth plan no-no) and had a 3rd degree tear.
• 7:40pm Tuesday: Braddock Ryan Hewitt is delivered by vacuum extraction. 7lbs, 2oz, 20in. Is immediately given to nursery nurses for deep suctioning (in case he inhaled the meconium he passed).

 

At the time, I was very concerned for Braddock and wanted them to do whatever they needed for him to be fine. Later, I was a bit sad about this because I was most passionate about the Newborn Care portion of my birth plan. I really, really, really wanted those first moments (really that first hour) alone skin-to-skin with Braddock (and Ryan there too). We had very specific orders that we didn’t want the nurses messing with Braddock. But after the meconium scare, the nurses used that as an excuse to discard my whole Newborn Care plan. 

But, in the end – what mattered is that Braddock was safe, healthy, and with his parents. Ryan didn’t leave his side for a second and actually had to fight the nursery nurses for him (they really didn’t like Ryan). And Braddock was such a trooper. After the initial scare (and some very long minutes of not hearing his cry and not knowing if he was ok) – he surprised all the nurses and passed his 2nd apgar test!

So, all in all – nothing went according to our birth plan (which I was prepared for). We had a “plan” not because we expected our labor to go a specific way, but because we wanted to be more involved in the process of bringing our son into the world. And I’m still so glad that we did have a “plan” for it really prepared Ryan and I to make the decisions we made and to not rely solely on the doctors or nurses to tell us what to do. Although things did not go as planned, I can’t complain with how things turned out. Given the difficulties of the labor, we were all surprised that I didn’t end up with a c-section and with Braddock having to go to NICU. Ryan and I knew without a doubt that God was there with us. And we couldn’t be happier to have our precious son here with us now.

Thanks for the taking time to read!

To read more from Candace about her baby and her family you can check out her blog, All Things Braddock  You can also read more about Braddock and his parents at their blog. Thanks Candace for sharing about your birth of Braddock! .

Aziz's Birth Story, Genesta's second born, a natural and speedy labor

Aziz's Birth Story

I went into labor with Aziz the night before his due date, again at
9pm.  Early labor was about the same as it was with Kai.  Again, I
took my bath and then worked on my cross stitch.  This time Kindra (my sister and doula) and
mom were both there with me and Payam.  In the morning I played with
Kai and had breakfast.  Then I went to the bathroom and on the way out
I crouched down on my bed to deal with a contraction and heard a
popping noise, followed by a gush of liquid.  I called everybody and
told them I thought my water broke.  I called my doctor and she said
she'd be in surgery most of the morning so may or may not make the
birth.  I sighed and turned that one over to God.  Then we all climbed
into the car and headed to the hospital.

I was still in early labor and the contractions weren't real intense
yet so the drive was a lot easier.  I talked a lot to Kai about what
was happening until we got to the hospital.  This time I had to go to
triage and only Payam could come with me.  They hooked me up to the
monitors and it seemed like it took forever for them to check me in.
I was only a couple of centimeters dilated so nobody was in a rush,
but as my water had broken they didn't send me home.  Finally, they
let me rejoin my family in the waiting room, where we hung out for a
couple of hours.  Someone gave Kai a toy train set so I paced around,
talking with everyone and watching him play.  Kindra took him to look
at the babies in the nursery and explained that no, none of those
babies was mommy's baby.  We chatted with a couple who were waiting
for their daughter to deliver.  They said she was at 8cm and it should
be soon.  Just then they said my room was ready so we wished them luck
and went to hang out in the room.

The nurse was really busy and had a number of women delivering at the
same time so she pretty much left us alone when I made it clear that I
really wanted to do it my way.  Kai got tired so his uncle picked him
up and took him home for a nap.  After he left, the contractions
started getting really intense and I could feel that I was entering
transition.  This time the pain was more in my abdomen than my back so
the hip squeeze trick didn't work as well.  I found that the most
comfortable position was up on my hands and knees.

The nurse came in and I told her that I felt like I was getting close.
 She checked and said I was at 7cm.  I told her please call my doctor
and she said I still had a ways to go.  I didn't feel like talking
anymore but I didn't need to because Kindra and mom were great
advocates.  They told her that babies always come fast in our family
and she really needed to call the doctor.  Reluctantly, she went to
the phone and called her but told her "Well, the family seems to think
she's getting close but she's only 7cm."  Then she told us that if it
was getting close she'd better finish up the paperwork.  That ticked
me off but I was too focused on the contractions to really care so I
just ignored them and tried to focus on my prayers and not worry about
whether or not my doctor would show up.  Payam left to call the doctor
himself because he knew it was adding to the stress and I retreated
into my prayers and tried to leave the medical stress in His hands.

While Payam was in the hall calling the doctor I felt like I needed to
push.  Mom and Kindra started getting nervous and one of them poked
her head out of the door and yelled "uh, she's pushing.  Could SOMEONE
come in here?"  Payam ran back in and a different nurse came in.
Fortunately, she was a lot better than the first nurse.  She checked
me and said I was ready to push and told me that she was going to call
a doctor in.  I was panting at this point to stop from pushing and
told her I wanted my doctor.  She was really reassuring and told me my
baby wasn't going to wait and that I had this anyway.  So I took a
deep breath and said fine and they called a doctor out of the hall.  A
man came in and introduced himself to my backside and then said "can
you turn over?" (I was still on my hands and knees)  I was too busy
panting to answer him so the nurse answered for me.  She said, "No,
she can't and you can deliver the baby just like that."  Then she told
me to go ahead and push.

I was afraid of how much that was going to hurt so I gave a couple of
really tentative half pushes.  Then I thought, OK God, I know I have
to do it so please give me the strength and let's do this.  Then I
gave a strong push and to my utter amazement I felt the entire baby
fly out just like that.  The doctor had just turned around from
putting on his gloves and had to jump to catch the baby.  (Kindra
ended up scooping up his body because the doctor barely managed to get
his hands on his head.)  I flipped over and tried to recover from the
shock that A) it was over already and B) pushing barely even hurt!
Then I realized that there was a problem.

Aziz wasn't breathing.  The doctor didn't seem to notice this as he
was busy pulling on the cord to extract the placenta.  I started
saying, "my baby, my baby, he's not breathing!" and Kindra started
yelling at everyone.  Finally, they patted him a bit and he woke up.
Apparently, the problem was that he was born asleep and they needed to
wake him up so he could start breathing.  Anyway, he was fine and I
felt unbelievably great, but a little shaken.  Nobody had taken a
heart rate during the entire delivery.  My doctor finally showed up
about half an hour after the birth and I was so annoyed with her I
could barely manage to be polite.  I didn't care, anyway.  I just
wanted to cuddle my baby and thank God and my family because at least
they were paying attention.  The nurse (the saving grace to the
otherwise shoddy service I received that day) looked me in the eye and
said "you know, you're one of those women who would be much better off
at home."  I truly think Aziz's delivery would have been safer at home
because at least a medical professional would have been paying
attention.  Lucky for us, we really didn't need much help as it turned
out.

I wanted to get out of there and get home so I could take care of my
baby and see Kai as soon as possible.  8 hours later, Payam had
successfully navigated the hospital and we were heading home.  On our
way out, we saw the same couple in the waiting room.  We asked how
their daughter was doing and they said she was still pushing.  I
thought, well that's why we need hospitals, for those less fortunate
than me and I swallowed my annoyance and headed home with my darlings.

A few years later, I learned that the doctor who stepped in to deliver
Aziz was on the board of directors at Kai's school.  We were working a
booth together when I recognized his name from Aziz's birth
certificate (I had never really seen his face.)  I told him he had
delivered my son and he studied me for a minute and said "Oh!  You're
the one who delivered on her hands and knees!"  Surprised, I said "Uh,
yeah, but THE one.  You mean you've never had anyone else do that?"
He laughed and said no, that it was very unusual.  I found the
conversation odd because I don't think it's unusual at all in natural
birth and I actually think it's highly preferable.  Aziz's birth was
definitely the easiest and I think the position had a lot to do with
that.

Brianna Graber from Fountain of Love shares Viviana's home birth story

Dearest Viviana Marie,

You arrived! May 18, 2010 at 9:37am. You were 8lbs 2oz, 20 ¾” long, and had a 14” head. You have lots of gorgeous dark hair, and big, dark eyes. You’re a precious, beautiful bundle of joy, and you couldn’t ask for parents who love and adore you more. And here, Sweet Girl, is the story of your birth- a story so perfect only God could’ve written it…

For about a week leading up to your birth, I started having more consistent contractions, on and off. They were still very light, but would often stay at a consistent rate apart for a few hours, before dwindling off, and then pick up again later. My body was preparing and getting ready for the big day! On Saturday, the 15th, I lost my mucus plug, as my body continued to prepare. We had a busy weekend with Daddy’s ultimate tournament, and visiting the zoo to celebrate Uncle Brenner’s birthday, but not much in the way of contractions. My midwife, Cindy Rogel (who was also Grandma Carmichael’s midwife for several babies, and Grandma Graber’s for one), was going to be out of town the following week, due to family stuff that had come up, so you ended up being delivered by her back-up, Joselle Weiss. I got to meet her earlier in the pregnancy, because Cindy also had a daughter getting married around my due date, and got to see Joselle in action at a friend’s birth. Her philosophies were very similar to Cindy’s, and there were a lot of things I appreciated about her, so after a brief stress-out over the large time frame Cindy wouldn’t be available, I decided that God knew who was needed at your birth, and would arrange the timing accordingly.

Monday morning I woke up around 1, and every 15 or 20 minutes afterwards with cramping and contractions that were quite a bit stronger than the previous Braxton Hicks. Around 3, they became firmer, and were a steady 4-5 minutes apart, lasting 45-75 seconds. I couldn’t sleep through them, so I got up and did some light housework, in preparation for the possibility of that being your birthday. Around 4:45 I decided to call Grandma C., and ask what she thought. I didn’t want to ask her and the midwife to come out early if it wasn’t the real thing yet, but everything seemed consistent, and significantly different from all the previous prep my body had done. She though it sounded good, and I should call Joselle, so I woke Dad up and asked him to start filling the pool. I called Joselle a little after 5 to give her a head’s up, and she suggested my calling again in an hour or so to let her know where things were at.

Around 5:20 contractions started gaining in intensity, and became a little closer. I started craving getting in the water, and was looking forward to having the pool filled. In the meanwhile, I focused on getting things ready for the birth, and relaxing through the contractions. At 6:30 I got in the pool, and it finished filling shortly thereafter. Joselle thought she should come out and check on things, so Grandma arrived at 7:10, and Joselle a few minutes later. Being in the water slowed things down a little bit, but contractions still stayed 4-5 minutes apart.

At 9:15 I got out of the pool, and Joselle did the first internal exam. Because of how the cervix was positioned, and how high up it was, she couldn’t feel how far I was dilated. She said, though, that baby’s head was in a perfect position and once the cervix moved into place, I would probably dilate very effectively. She was right- but it was a long time before the cervix moved into place. If I could do it again, now having felt and experienced labor, I probably would’ve worked at going through the day more normally, instead of focusing on the fact I was in labor. Having no previous experience to compare it to, though, your birth was mostly a learning curve for me.

Around 11:30am I got out of the pool at Joselle’s suggestion, and stayed out for the rest of the day. I spent the rest of the day alternating walking around, resting, sitting on the birthing ball, etc. I tried napping during the afternoon, and Daddy laid down with me, touching me and helping lull me to sleep in between contractions. I had a couple more internal exams through out the day- she could feel that I was dilated to about 1 centimeter, but the cervix was still really high and needed to drop before things could start moving.

Joselle had a prenatal to do in the evening, and ended up going home after that. It was slightly disappointing to be at what felt like a stand still- but I was really tired, and thought maybe labor would just taper off and kick back in in the morning, which was a welcome idea. I was also encouraged by the fact that no matter what I did or didn’t do, labor didn’t go away, so we would be holding you soon. Grandma decided to stay the night, at our request. We decided to watch a movie, but my contractions picked up a lot in intensity, and got closer together. I had to work harder at relaxing through them. Around 9, I got in the pool to try and take the edge off the contractions, hoping maybe they’d slow down some and I could sleep a little. It didn’t seem to help too much, so we decided to go to bed around 11. I threw up, and contractions continued to get stronger. They were 90 seconds long, and about 3 minutes apart. Daddy worked really hard at getting me to relax through the contractions and rest in between. He was a wonderful support- your birth was completely a team effort, that couldn’t have been nearly the beautiful story it was without Dad. He gently reminded me to relax when I started tensing up. I decided to try standing in the hot shower, because I couldn’t sleep and was having a hard time dealing with the contractions lying down. It helped slightly, and I stayed in till the hot water ran out, then went in the living room for a while. Around 1:30, I went in Grandma’s room to talk to her about the new developments. She was up, and suggested we drain a little of the water in the pool (it was pretty cool the night before) and refill with hot water. Daddy, who managed to fall asleep for about an hour, after I had assured him I wanted him to try sleeping and would get him if I needed him, came out and helped with the pool draining/filling.

It felt nice to get in the water again, though the contractions were still really intense. I was so tired I kept falling asleep during the 30-60 seconds between contractions. It took a lot of effort, energy, and work to relax through the contractions- more than I had anticipated. Since I was so tired I kept slipping into loosing my focus once the contraction hit its peak point. Daddy quietly cheered me on, reminding me I was doing a great job, prayed for me, and supported me physically. Grandma kept reminding me to relax when she saw me start to tense up during a contraction. She was a perfect mix- understanding and encouraging, but forceful about the fact that I needed to relax, pointing out when certain body parts started tensing up. I started each contraction determined to relax through it, but started to loose my focus more than once. Daddy’s emotional support was such a huge encouragement, especially when I felt like I wasn’t doing as well at handling the contractions as I should be…he would remind me that I was doing great, in spite of being too weary to focus on relaxing as much as I needed to. When I felt too weary to go on, he supported me and reminded me that I absolutely could do it, no matter what I thought. Somewhere in that time frame, my water broke.

After I asked Grandma about when we should call Joselle, Grandma called her at 4, and Joselle (who lives 45 minutes away) arrived at 5. I had thrown up several more times before she got there, which she said made for great dilation contractions. I felt a lot of pressure, so I felt certain the cervix had dropped, and I was hoping I had dilated fairly far, but didn’t want to get my hopes up. So, we were elated when Joselle checked me around 6, and said the cervix was fully dilated, and everything was ready to go. It was thrilling, and a little energizing to realize we were down to the final stretch, and most likely would soon be holding you.

I started bearing down with each contraction, but didn’t start serious pushing till around 7. I made low-throated noises through the contractions, which helped me focus on putting all my energy downwards, towards pushing you out, so I didn’t get tired too fast. Joselle coached me through the pushing, telling me how to make my pushing effective so I didn’t get tired with ineffective pushing. It felt good to push, and do something with the contractions, that helped instead of being tempted to tense up against them. Grandma and Daddy continued the reminders to relax, and that I could do it. Around 8:30 we finally had your head in a full crown. It was so exciting to get to feel your head, which was covered in dark hair. Throughout the pushing, Joselle had me alternate my positions between squatting, hands and knees, and tailor sitting, which seemed to help bring you down. We were down to the home stretch, with no turning around! My pushing became even more serious and down-to-business…I was very eager to meet you. You had a hard time fitting through, and my perineum did some major stretching. Joselle helped it along, and supported and massaged it to prevent tearing. In spite of best pushing efforts, and Joselle’s attempts at pulling the probably area you were stuck on out of the way, you stayed in a full crown for an hour. It was encouraging to be able to reach down and feel your head when the pushing got long, and the pressure intense. Joselle, Grandma, and Daddy all prayed for us throughout the labor and birth. Specifically when you were stuck at a full crown, they prayed for strength and endurance for me, and that you’d be able to fit through perfectly. They reminded that God had designed my body for your birth. Finally, just as Joselle was contemplating offering to do a small episiotomy, your beautiful head came through. Everyone was ecstatic, though I remember mentioning in response to someone saying the hard part was over that we still had the shoulders to go. A couple more pushes, though, and we had the shoulders (with your arms crossed over them) out…in the next moment you were lifted out and into my arms. I gave a cry of delight as so many emotions flooded over me. You were so perfectly beautiful, and gave a lusty cry as soon as we lifted you out of the water. I nestled you against my chest, and we covered you with a towel. You were a little purplish, so Joselle had Daddy start rubbing you down right away, and you quickly pinked up. Then I checked to see if you were a girl or boy- and was pleasantly surprised to see God had given us a daughter. Though we didn’t have a preference, we thought we were more likely to have a boy...we were thrilled God had given you to us. Daddy really loves having a princess to love and adore.

The placenta was about an hour in coming. Daddy started draining the pool shortly after you were born, so the water was pretty much completely gone by the time the placenta was birthed. I wasn’t sure where the energy to push the placenta out was going to come from, but eventually, after some position changing, we did it. You enjoyed nestling against my breast, and latched on and nursed for a few minutes. You also got to enjoy Daddy’s arms- it was so special to get to hand you- our baby- to him.

After the placenta was birthed, I got cleaned up, and into bed which Grandma had made up and prepared for us. You nestled up with me, greatly enjoying skin-to-skin contact, and nursed some more. After checking me, Joselle left. Grandma stayed for several more hours, and helped with some of the various clean up, as well as making sure you had a good latch for breastfeeding. You were exhausted after the experience of entering the world, and did lots of sleeping. After lunch, our new little family of 3 took a nap together, and then Grandma Graber and Aunt Annie came to bring dinner and see you.

We’re so grateful for you, and the birth experience God blessed us with! Pregnancy and birth has always been really special to Grandma, and I eagerly anticipated experiencing it, instead of only dreaming about what your birth would be like. Although there were things I could’ve done differently, and relaxing took more work than I felt like I had the energy for, God blessed us with a beautiful birth- I couldn’t have asked for a more perfect labor or delivery…and I definitely couldn’t ask for a more perfect daughter!

Brianna blogs at  Fountain of Love about her family, mothering topics, as well as natural living. She is an excellent and thorough writer (as you can tell) and I encourage you to check out her blog and show her some love.