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| Feeding "on demand" during Baby Girl's 12 month photo shoot |
If you are just now joining us for the Why I'm Not Babywise Series, Welcome! Please take some time to read the previous posts, especially my Intro/Disclaimer so you can read the rest of the posts in context. I am seeking to be very sensitive to my readers who may implement Babywise. I pray we can all show one another grace as we seek to parent all of our babies in the way God leads us. I invite considerate comments, whether you agree or disagree.
God is Creator. I believe that and I hope you do too. Someday soon I will share my story of how I came to know Jesus. But for now, let us operate under the assumption that if you follow my blog regularly you probably believe God is the Creator too, or are at least open to this idea. When I think of the human body and how God so intricately created it, it amazes me and I have to praise Him! Our heart beats, our lungs take in oxygen, etc. without us even thinking about it. We aren't plugged into an electrical outlet to keep going, God sustains our life. He is the author and creator of life. He also created our digestive systems, and mama's milk. (whole other post or series on breastfeeding coming one day soon) Let me just say, I believe it is God's design for women to breastfeed. Now obviously we live in a fallen world and sometimes things happen to interfere with this, but in most cases most women are able to breastfeed. And I believe it is the best option for baby and mama. (we can still be friends if you formula feed, just in case you were wondering) :)
Breastfeeding is different than formula feeding for many reasons. Formula doesn't have all the amazing immunities and antibodies that breastmilk has, it digests slower, and it is usually dairy based. It comes from a bottle instead of a boob. Those are the main ones that come to my mind right off the bat.
Scheduling feedings became popular when formula feeding became popular a few generations ago. Although I would still argue against strict scheduling for even formula fed babies, it is more feasible than scheduling a nursing baby. With formula feeding you can know exactly how much your baby is taking in at each feeding session so therefore you know exactly how many ounces they are getting each day. Not possible with a nursling. (unless you have one of those expensive Medela scales) Formula digests much slower than breastmilk so it keeps the baby full much longer. Formula has the same consistency and properties at the beginning of the feeding as it does at the end. Not the case with breastmilk. It changes throughout the feeding and throughout the day.
Let us remember that God is Creator and created each and every one of us and our bodies and digestive systems. Now let us talk about babies. Obviously some babies have smaller stomachs than others. Some have fast metabolisms, and some slower. This is true whether you are breastfeeding or formula feeding. So because of this some may be hungry every two hours, and some every four. And since we never really know how much a nursing baby is getting they might only take in a couple ounces at one session and then be hungry again in thirty minutes. Especially in the evenings, when breastmilk is lower in volume (although it is higher in fat), cluster feeding might occur where a baby is hungry more often than at other times of the day. I don't know about you, but sometimes I want a snack, sometimes a drink, and sometimes a full meal. Shouldn't it be the same with babies?
Briefly, let us talk about mamas. Boobs. They come in all different shapes and sizes. Regardless of the size, women have different storage capacities in their boobs for milk. Since there is no way of knowing exactly how much milk we make at each feeding, wouldn't it be best to just feed our babies when they show signs of hunger? Since we don't know exactly how big our baby's stomach is, or how fast their metabolism, or exactly how many ounces they are taking in, or what the fat content of our milk is like at that exact feeding session, wouldn't it be best to just feed our babies when they show signs of hunger?
After all, don't we as adults eat when we are hungry, regardless of the clock?
Thank you for posting this! I am a friend of Rachel's and found your blog through hers. I have never read Babywise but was familiar with the basic idea having worked with many infants and children before becoming a Mom. I assumed we would have a schedule and that I would most likely follow a lot of the principles of Babywise. After my little boy was born 16 months ago, I began to really reasearch, question many of the common practices, and most importantly pray about how to best care for my little one. Even though I felt intense pressure (even from the doctor) to schedule him or let him cry it out, I never had peace in my heart about doing this. Despite advice that I was doing my baby a huge disservice, I continued to rock and parent him to sleep. My son, like Rachel's, also had severe reflux and I could not schedule his feeding either - he was/is nursed on demand. I am amazed as I think back to the days of anticipating his arrival - I am a different parent than I thought I would be and have embraced things that I had never even heard of (co-sleeping, extended nursing, etc) all after prayerfully considering what was right/best for our son and our family. Thank you for posting this series (something I did not have the courage to do myself) and for not being judgmental of any mother's choices/parenting style. Motherhood is such a wonderful calling, and I think it's important that as women we feel encouraged in our role. Thank you for encouraging me when I have often felt alone in a lot of my choices.
ReplyDeleteThank YOU for the encouragement! I feel alone too in most of my parenting choices. God has been sweet to give me a few "real life" friends that have similar parenting styles but I have mostly found encouragement online. THanks for posting a comment and for reading!
ReplyDeleteChalise, the picture of you feeding Brooklyn is just precious. It reminded me of one of mom's stories about how she was kicked out of a department store for nursing me. We are so fortunate today to be able to nurse our babies freely and I think often of the debt we owe to our own mothers to be able to do so. You've obviously inherited some of their courage and I feel really fortunate to be able to witness it.
ReplyDeleteOh, and your comment about how adults eat when they're hungry made me chuckle. I think we'd be a lot healthier if we actually did that, rather than feeling like we need three meals a day. Since I'm often too busy to bother eating I skip meals a lot and I've been surprised to find that I feel a lot better if I let myself actually get hungry before piling in more food.
I also feel sad that you feel so alone in your parenting choices and it makes me wish again that we lived closer. It also makes me really look forward to meeting Brooklyn soon! and being able to give you lots of hugs and encouragement.
I'm sitting here right now watching the twins sleep. They slept like they always do, cuddled up on either side of me after reading their bedtime story and singing their prayers in their angelic little voices. It's the best time of the day and I'd be hard pressed to trade it for more adult freedom. Time enough for that when they're sick of me:) Love you.
thanks Genesta! I can't wait to see you!
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