I am very privileged to be in a family of amazing women. Women that are amazing mothers and who truly trust the birthing process. My mother had all of us in a birthing clinic naturally with a D.O. Both of my aunts had natural home births with all of their children. I also have a cousin, Kindra, who is a doula. I will be sharing my oldest cousin, Genesta's, birth stories this week. She has had three pregnancies and births, and has four children. Her last were twin girls. She is truly an inspiration to me, as a mother and as a birther.
Kai's Birth Story
I went into labor around 9pm. I knew I should get to sleep but mom,
Payam, and I were so excited that we stayed up for several hours chit
chatting. Finally, around midnight, we tried to go to bed. The
contractions were coming every 15-20 minutes and were painful but not
very strong yet. I found I could doze off and then only half wake up
during the contractions. After a few hours I couldn't really sleep
through them anymore so I got up and took a bath. I talked to my baby
and timed contractions for awhile, then lie back down in bed and
waited for morning.
Payam and mom got up early and we all had breakfast. The contractions
were gradually getting a little stronger and by morning were about 5-10 minutes apart. I felt them more in my back than my abdomen so I
crouched down on all fours and tried to stretch out my back. Payam
got behind me and put a hand on each of my hips then squeezed in an
up. That was an enormously effective technique that made the
contractions virtually pain free (at least for me:) Mom didn't have
the strength to do it and Payam's muscles were pretty sore the next
day but man did it work. Around 9am Payam and I took a shower. Under
the hot water the contractions started coming faster and stronger so that after 20 minutes I had to get out. Then they slowed down again
but the intensity was still increasing.
Around 10:30am I decided to call the midwife. I told her the
contractions were feeling stronger but were still coming every 5-10
minutes and she said to sit tight and call her when they were 2-3
minutes apart. I was starting to feel uncomfortable with staying at
home when I was planning on delivering in the hospital so I asked my
mom to check me. She gently told me that it didn't look like I was in
active labor yet and warned me that I was probably only a couple of
centimeters. But since I was insistent she checked me anyhow and to
everybody's surprise but mine I was at 5cm. I called the midwife back
and told her I was coming in.
Driving in the car in active labor wasn't a whole lot of fun,
especially since Payam couldn't really do his magic hip squeeze thing
in the car. At my midwife's office she confirmed that I was 5cm and
sent us to the hospital with instructions to call her again when I was
at 6cm. Walking into the hospital I had to stop several times to deal
with the contractions since I couldn't really walk through them
anymore. They checked me in fast and said they wanted to monitor the
baby's heart rate for a few minutes but before doing that the nurse
wanted to check my dilation. She checked and said I was at 8cm and
we'd better call the midwife so she left and I skipped the monitoring.
At this point the contractions were still coming every 5-10 minutes
but they were getting really intense. The pain was still primarily in
my back so Payam started in on the hip squeezes and I started praying.
As I got into transition the contractions finally got close together.
Now they were coming hard and fast and I couldn't really talk to
anyone anymore. The contractions required all of my energy and so I
really retreated into myself. I kept chanting over and over again in
my head "Is there any remover of difficulties save God. Say, He is
God, O God my God. All are His servants and all abide by His
bidding." At this point I really didn't want anyone else to talk. I
retreated into myself and became really intensely aware of every
sensation in my body. I felt like there was really no room for
anybody in my consciousness other than my baby and God. It was a
really intense spiritual experience that was only slightly marred by
the fact that my midwife STILL wasn't there.
After about twenty-five minutes of near constant contractions I
started feeling like I really just needed a rest. I asked God to
please give me a break for just a few minutes and then I could get
back into it. That wasn't forthcoming so I decided to change position
and asked the nurse if I could get in the shower. My midwife got
there at that point and said I could and that she was going to get
ready. I manged to walk to the bathroom on somewhat shaky legs but I
felt like I needed to go to the bathroom before getting in the shower.
Watching me on the toilet my mom said "are you sure that's not the
baby you're working on?" I said I didn't know so the nurse came in and said that yes, I was pushing. My mom started getting really
annoyed then and snapped at her, "Is THIS enough to get the midwife
here?" I stayed on the toilet, shaking from head to toe for a few
minutes until my midwife came back in. She helped me to the bed.
I asked if I could squat and she said okay, but I would need to lie
down for a minute while they got the squat bar set up. I never
managed to summon the energy to get back up once I was down. My
midwife told me that everything was fine and I could go ahead and push. At first I was relieved but with the first push I felt like the
entire core of my body was being ripped apart. That was my first real
shock and I blocked everybody out and started praying again. After
about ten minutes I couldn't even pray anymore. My mom had always
delivered so fast that I was surprised that I was still pushing. But
my midwife said she could see the head and he was coming down just
fine and I didn't have long. So I summoned up my courage and got
through a few more pushes. Finally, I started praying to God to just
end it and told Him that never mind, I didn't have to have a baby
after all. That was probably the lowest point.
But right after that everybody started saying they could see the head
and I felt a new pain. This one was a burning sensation and I was so
relieved to feel it. I managed to gasp out that I wanted to see the
head and as soon as they put a mirror up for me I regained my
composure and told God that I could hang in there with Him after all.
I thought we were about done but my midwife said he was too big and
we'd have to go slow. She had me pant for a couple of contractions
and then push slowly while she massaged the perinneum and tried to
ease out his head. I felt like I could manage as long as I could see
the head but whenever somebody blocked my view I got really panicky.
Gradually, slowly, and carefully, she eased the head out. Then, one
last push and there he was, a huge purple healthy looking boy. I was
in utter shock. I looked at mom and told her, "You didn't tell me it would feel like that!" She just laughed and shook her head. Payam
was all smiles and Kai was just beautiful. The nurse told me it was
the most controlled delivery she'd ever seen and that I made it look
easy, which I thought was rather ironic. At that moment, I was just
so grateful to God that it was over and relieved to finally see my
baby but in retrospect it was an amazing experience in and of itself.
I've never felt closer to God than I do during childbirth and it
taught me to trust myself.
thank you for sharing your story absolutely amazing
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