"And whoever wants to be first must be slave of all. For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.” Mark 10:44-45
"Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others. In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus."Philippians 2:3-5
"Then people brought little children to Jesus for him to place his hands on them and pray for them. But the disciples rebuked them. Jesus said, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.” When he had placed his hands on them, he went on from there." Matthew 19:13-15
One of the main problems I have with Babywise (BW) or other Baby Training (BT) books is that there is an overall attitude that having a baby shouldn't really change life much. Well, let me tell you, a baby changes EVERYTHING! From cry-it-out (CIO) to rigid schedules to hands-off parenting, BT books teach you how to get your baby to cater to you.
" If you want to know what your day is going to be like each day so you can schedule outings with your friends or date nights with your husband then get that baby on a schedule. Don't let your baby rule the roost. Take charge!"As I read BW the overall feel I got when I read it was that using BW will make your baby convenient. I got the impression that BW teaches a parent-centered style of baby rearing, instead of family centered or a baby sensitive style. Isn't it wrong to be self-centered? Especially in our parenting?
What does Jesus teach us? Jesus came to serve, not to be served. He is our ultimate example. In Philippians, Paul, inspired by God, tells us to value others above ourselves. Does this not include babies? He tells us to consider the interests of others. Does this not include babies and children? He tells us that in our relationship with ONE ANOTHER (babies are one another) to have the same mindset as Christ Jesus! Does this not include babies?
There is nothing convenient about living for Jesus and striving to become like Jesus. I am so far from what I should be. I am not the servant that I want to be or the servant that God calls me to be, but I am praying and striving to be more like Jesus in this area. Living for Jesus means dying to self daily and living for Him and for others. We are to be servants to others, and not expect others to serve us. We are to consider others BETTER than ourselves, even small babies.
Jesus took the time to love on children. When the disciples claimed Jesus was too busy and rebuked him for letting the children come to him, Jesus made a point to let the children sit on his lap and pray for them. There is no one busier that Jesus. The busiest mom on the planet isn't busier than Jesus. Did he view children as an inconvenience or a blessing?
I realize that no matter what sort of parenting style a mom follows (by choice or by default) that there is an element of sacrifice. Every good mother sacrifices for her children and serves her children. But what is the attitude of your heart? (again, asking myself this too)
When your baby needs to be nursed 30 minutes after they just ate do you view it as an opportunity to serve them and meet their needs, or as an inconvenience that is messing up your schedule? When your baby has a hard time settling down to sleep do you strive to serve them and meet their needs or do you view it as an inconvenience and force them to cry themselves to sleep? When your baby just needs some extra loving do you joyfully hold them or wear them or do you view it as an inconvenience that is keeping your from other things you need to get done? (I am asking these questions to myself too) No matter what parenting style we follow we all struggle with serving our babies and meeting their needs 24/7. But since when were babies supposed to serve our needs and be convenient?
As I read BW and starting fantasizing about having that "perfect" baby that he described I was reminded of Jesus and how he came to serve and not to be served, and that he gave his life as a ransom for many. If I want my babies and children to see Jesus in me, I need to strive to be like Jesus in how I parent them. I don't need to try to get them to sleep through the night prematurely just so I can have a more convenient night of sleep. I don't need to force them onto a four hour feeding schedule that they are not physically ready for just because some author told me to. I don't need to stop nursing or rocking them to sleep for fear of spoiling them. All I need to do is be like Jesus to them and seek to meet their needs and serve them. That's it.
Sacrifice, not convenience.
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