A Twin Birth Story, Genesta's Third Labor and Final Thoughts

The Twins Birth Story: Ayla and Kiana

  This time I decided to go with Kaiser Birth Clinic.  They have a
lot of midwives but their midwives work in shifts so you aren't
guaranteed a particular practitioner at the birth.  I was tired of
stressing out over when or if my provider was going to arrive and
decided I'd rather just get to know the various midwives during my
pregnancy and be assigned to whoever was on shift for the birth.  This
plan started out great until my first appointment.  That's when the
midwife saw the twins on the ultrasound and I was promptly transferred
to the high risk unit.

Twin pregnancies are managed completely differently.  I had a
bazillion ultrasounds and was initially told that I would have to have
an epidural and a vaginal birth wouldn't even be attempted unless both
babies were head down.  Even then, I had to be prepared for an
emergency C-section because sometimes the second baby flips after the
first baby is born.  For that reason, a lot of twin moms just schedule
a C-section so they won't have to face the prospect of both a vaginal
delivery AND a C-section.  Fortunately for me, my babies both settled
down to a head down position, although I had enough ultrasounds so
that I got to worry about that for several weeks first.

The late ultrasounds stressed everyone out.  My doctor thought that
Kiana wasn't growing very well (turns out she's just a small baby and
there wasn't anything wrong, but they couldn't know that.)  They also
saw a shadow around her heart, which my doctor was quick to tell me
was probably one of the very common late ultrasound errors (which it
was) but still it stressed me out.  All in all, my doctor thought that
the sooner the babies were out the better so she scheduled an
induction for 38 1/2 weeks.

I really didn't want to take pitocin, as I've heard enough horror
stories about that.  But I also agreed with my doctor and was so
awfully huge and uncomfortable that I started getting really anxious.
As soon as Kindra (my sister and doula) stepped off the plane (at 37 weeks) I told her, "OK,
let's get these babies out."  We got home and she checked me and said
I was about 2cm dilated but not real effaced.  She also said that
Kiana's head didn't seem to be in the right position.  After she
checked me we went for a walk and I started having contractions.  They
didn't hurt at all but they were definitely contractions and they were
regular and didn't stop.  I started getting excited.  That night she
checked me again and said I was 5cm but not effaced.  I asked how that
could be when I haven't had any pain.  She shrugged but I figured, OK,
5cm usually means active labor so let's head to the hospital.  When I
got there they put us in triage and kindly allowed both Payam and
Kindra to come in.  They kept me in traige for a couple of hours.
Then the doctor said that even though I had dilated a lot I still
wasn't effaced and the contractions didn't seem to be very effective
yet so she sent me home.

Nothing really changed for the next two days.  I kept having regular
painless contractions and then finally they stopped altogether.  I
felt like I was going crazy.  Over the next couple of days I got
depressed and cranky.  When Kindra checked me on Thursday morning for
the umpteenth time and said I was now at 3cm I lost it.  I told her
that I didn't care what she had to do, we had to get these babies out
'cause I couldn't handle the suspense anymore.  So we headed to the
health food store and bought a bunch of blue and black cohosh and some
castor oil.  The castor oil just gave me diarreah.  But the herbs got
the painless contractions going again.  I was too stressed to deal
with the boys so we sent them to Payam's mom's house and Payam,
Kindra, and I played cards and waited to see if the herbs would work.
After a few hours the contractions started getting somewhat painful
and they were solidly regular.  It was getting close to bedtime so we
decided to stop the herbs and go to bed.  The contractions got decidedly more
painful and now were about 5 minutes apart so we called Kindra out of
bed and she came and checked me again.  I was 6 1/2 cm but still not
real effaced.  So we headed back to the hospital.

This time the doctors checked me in.   I liked both of the doctors
right away and I really liked it that they were there and I could talk
to them about the birth plan right away.  They were young and
respectful.  They suggested that the best way to avoid the second baby
flipping after the first is born is for the doctor to reach up and
grab her head as soon as the first one was born.  I agreed to that and
asked if I could try it without the epidural.  They were willing to
let me try but asked me to have the epidural tube placed just in case
I ended up having an emergency C-section.  Then they told me I could
check in to my room and take a walk around the halls if I wanted.

My contractions were definitely regular and they were somewhat painful
but I could definitely walk around and talk.  It seemed like I should
be in more pain at 6 1/2cm.  The nurse showed me to my room and the L
and D nurse said she wanted to monitor the heart rates for about 20
minutes first.  So she hooked me up to the machines and that was the
last time I was allowed to move until the babies were born.  Ayla's
heart rate wasn't varying much and so they didn't want to take her off
the monitor until they could get better readings, which never
happened.  I still wasn't in much pain but I could see the
contractions on the monitor and I was really feeling the need to get
up and move or take a shower or something to help move things along.
After several hours I got up to 7cm but still almost no pain.
Finally, one of the doctors came in and told me that we really needed
to get things moving as I wasn't really progressing.  She suggested
that we break the waters but left the decision up to me.  After
talking it over with Kindra and Payam, we decided to go ahead and try
that.

As soon as the doctor broke the water, the contractions jumped up in
intensity.  I welcomed the pain, thinking that I had finally hit
transition.  Now it felt like something I was familiar with.  I told
myself, okay, here we go.  A half hour of this and then I can push and
I'll finally meet my babies.  I blocked everybody out and fell to my
prayers.  After a half hour I asked for the doctor and said I should
be ready to push now.  The doctor came in and said I was still at 7cm.
 I was totally shocked.  30 minutes of back to back killer
contractions usually opened me up.  What was going on?  She said that
Kiana's head wasn't quite centered and that might be causing the
problem.  Another 30 minutes went by and she said I was at 7.5.

The lack of progress really started breaking through my defenses.  I
wasn't allowed to move or do any of the natural things I would
normally do to get things moving.  I tried to focus on my prayers, my
body, and talking to my babies but my worries started breaking through
my defenses.  I didn't know how the delivery was going to go and
wasn't sure if I could tolerate having the doctor's hands inside me on
top of everything else.  Because of those worries and the relatively
long transition I caved and asked for the anesthesiologist.  Payam and
Kindra tried to talk me out of it (since I tend to withdraw into
myself it's hard for others to gauge the pain) but I had made up my
mind.

I asked the anesthesiologist to give me only enough epidural to take
the edge off while still allowing me to feel enough to push.  She
actually did a pretty good job in that I felt no difference
whatsoever.  A third half hour of killer contractions and I finally
started getting angry.  I asked them to bring the anesthesiologist
back again because I didn't think she had given me anything at all.
Turns out it was a shift change so a male anesthesiologist came in and
said it didn't seem like the medication was reaching the uterus at all
so he wanted to up it.  Before he did, my doctor came back and checked
me again.  Then she said I was ready to push!  So she advised me not
to get more meds (something that annoyed the anesthesiologist
greatly).  As soon as I heard that we were ready to push I felt much
more optimistic and I didn't want the meds anymore anyway.

They wheeled me down to the operating room and there was a tense few
minutes while everyone got set up.  At the last minute, I managed to
talk them into allowing Kindra and Payam to both be there (only on the
strength of Kindra's medical credentials).  The doctors lay me flat on
my back on a narrow metal table with my butt on the bottom (so there
was nowhere to put my legs) and my arms straight out.  Then they told
me to push.

I laughed and shook my head.  Push against what?  Thin air?
Fortunately, Kindra knew how to help.  She took one leg and Payam took
the other.  They pushed my legs up to my chest and Kindra helped me
raise my head with her other hand.  I could definitely still feel the
contractions but at this point it seemed like the epidural was finally
kicking in because they didn't hurt as much as I was expecting.

I pushed a couple of times and there was Kiana.  They held her up for
about a milli-second and whisked her off to the warming table.  I lay
back down and tried to gather my strength but as I did I felt the
doctor shove her hand up into my uterus.  For a moment, I forgot what
the plan was and I asked her, "what on earth are you doing?"  I was
thinking that I would have a break because I'd heard that the
contractions usually stop for awhile after the first baby.  She
reminded me that she was grabbing Ayla's head to stop her from turning
and told me to go ahead and push.

Again I was surprised.  How could I push without contractions?  But
Kindra told me to try anyway.  Then, all of a sudden, the doctor got
panicky and started telling me to push like mad because we had to get
the baby out NOW.  I was too scared to think so I just did what she
told me.  Then, just as quickly, she said, "no, stop.  We're going to
C-section."  I hadn't the slightest clue what was going on.  At first,
I kept pushing, hoping against hope that the baby would just pop out,
but then she yelled at me to stop.  So I lay back and started worrying
about the medication.  The epidural was helping but it wasn't nearly
enough for a surgery.  Would my refusing medication delay getting Ayla
out?

Then, a second doctor pushed her hand up and the doctor told me she
had changed her mind and we were going to try again.  I pushed as hard
as I could (I still wasn't having any contractions) and could feel the
baby crowning.  Then the doctor panicked again and grabbed a vacuum to
help bring the baby out faster.  And there she was.  Ayla had perfect
Apgar scores and wasn't in distress at all.  The time between Kiana's
birth and Ayla's was seven minutes.

Later, Kindra explained to me that the problem had been Ayla's heart
rate.  They had me on continual fetal monitoring the whole time and
apparently, Ayla's heart rate dove after Kiana was born.  The doctor
wanted to do a C-section but then the charge nurse convinced her to
wait just a minute and, sure enough, Ayla's heart rate recovered.  The
second doctor was putting a heart rate monitor on Ayla's head.  When
she was crowning her heart rate dove again, hence the vacuum.

All in all, I was just grateful that my babies arrived, safe and
sound.  A pediatrician took a look at Kiana's heart and said there was
absolutely nothing wrong with her at all.  They examined the placenta
for a clue as to why her growth was slow and said there was nothing
wrong there, either.  Kiana's still small.  Her pediatrician says that
she's just a little baby but that there's nothing at all wrong with
that because she's growing along her growth curve just fine.  It's
just her genes.  As for Ayla, her Apgar's clearly indicated that she
wasn't in distress at all.  Kindra says it's common for babies to have
little dips in the heart rate during delivery.  Most of those aren't
even noticed when you're monitoring occasionally, but since the
continual monitors pick up every second, it gives cause for worry when
there's really not a problem at all.

I wasn't allowed to hold my babies in the surgery room but
fortunately, they took me back to the L&D room quickly and I was able
to hold them there.  Kiana was the ugliest baby I've ever seen, but it
was just because she was so small.  Her skin was all wrinkly and
translucent.  She looked like a monkey.  As soon as she started
gaining weight she filled out and became absolutely beautiful.  Ayla
looked like a little princess from day one.  They both caught on to
nursing right away and did great.

Back in the delivery room the medical staff finally finished messing
with me and took me off of all the fluids.  I thanked the
anesthesiologist for his help and he kind of half smiled half glared
at us all and said that he could have helped a lot more and it was
unnecessary for me to have experienced so much pain.  I, on the other
hand, was thrilled with the epidural precisely BECAUSE it still
allowed me to feel enough pain to work effectively with my
contractions (until, of course, they became non-existent after Kiana's
birth.)

The boys were still at home asleep when the girls were born but they
came as soon as they got up in the morning.  I stayed at the hospital
for 24 hours because I thought I could get some rest there, since my
house is so nuts.  Still, I was relieved to get out and it was worth
the fight with the doctors to get home early.  They were still a
little worried about Kiana because she was so small.  A nurse came to
the house a couple of times to check her weight but from the get-go
she grew great.

I have had some of the most profound experiences of my life in the
process of birthing my children.  I've learned to trust my body and
learned that it can surprise me.  I've learned that God will truly be
there at the most challenging times of my life.  I've learned to
appreciate different perspectives and to be patient with and grateful
for alternative perspectives that come my way.  I've learned how to
embrace pain and how to let it go.  And I've learned to consider the
needs of my family, rather than just my own ideals, in making
important decisions.  All in all, our birth experiences have brought
Payam and I closer together as a couple and have helped to solidify
our identity as parents.  Sharing them with my mom and my sister has
brought us closer together, too, and looking to my little sis for
advice was really inspiring.  I feel very grateful to have had three
wonderful experiences with childbirth.  I feel even more grateful that
the Lord has entrusted me with four beautiful souls to nourish and
guide as they start their own journey in this world.

Aziz's Birth Story, Genesta's second born, a natural and speedy labor

Aziz's Birth Story

I went into labor with Aziz the night before his due date, again at
9pm.  Early labor was about the same as it was with Kai.  Again, I
took my bath and then worked on my cross stitch.  This time Kindra (my sister and doula) and
mom were both there with me and Payam.  In the morning I played with
Kai and had breakfast.  Then I went to the bathroom and on the way out
I crouched down on my bed to deal with a contraction and heard a
popping noise, followed by a gush of liquid.  I called everybody and
told them I thought my water broke.  I called my doctor and she said
she'd be in surgery most of the morning so may or may not make the
birth.  I sighed and turned that one over to God.  Then we all climbed
into the car and headed to the hospital.

I was still in early labor and the contractions weren't real intense
yet so the drive was a lot easier.  I talked a lot to Kai about what
was happening until we got to the hospital.  This time I had to go to
triage and only Payam could come with me.  They hooked me up to the
monitors and it seemed like it took forever for them to check me in.
I was only a couple of centimeters dilated so nobody was in a rush,
but as my water had broken they didn't send me home.  Finally, they
let me rejoin my family in the waiting room, where we hung out for a
couple of hours.  Someone gave Kai a toy train set so I paced around,
talking with everyone and watching him play.  Kindra took him to look
at the babies in the nursery and explained that no, none of those
babies was mommy's baby.  We chatted with a couple who were waiting
for their daughter to deliver.  They said she was at 8cm and it should
be soon.  Just then they said my room was ready so we wished them luck
and went to hang out in the room.

The nurse was really busy and had a number of women delivering at the
same time so she pretty much left us alone when I made it clear that I
really wanted to do it my way.  Kai got tired so his uncle picked him
up and took him home for a nap.  After he left, the contractions
started getting really intense and I could feel that I was entering
transition.  This time the pain was more in my abdomen than my back so
the hip squeeze trick didn't work as well.  I found that the most
comfortable position was up on my hands and knees.

The nurse came in and I told her that I felt like I was getting close.
 She checked and said I was at 7cm.  I told her please call my doctor
and she said I still had a ways to go.  I didn't feel like talking
anymore but I didn't need to because Kindra and mom were great
advocates.  They told her that babies always come fast in our family
and she really needed to call the doctor.  Reluctantly, she went to
the phone and called her but told her "Well, the family seems to think
she's getting close but she's only 7cm."  Then she told us that if it
was getting close she'd better finish up the paperwork.  That ticked
me off but I was too focused on the contractions to really care so I
just ignored them and tried to focus on my prayers and not worry about
whether or not my doctor would show up.  Payam left to call the doctor
himself because he knew it was adding to the stress and I retreated
into my prayers and tried to leave the medical stress in His hands.

While Payam was in the hall calling the doctor I felt like I needed to
push.  Mom and Kindra started getting nervous and one of them poked
her head out of the door and yelled "uh, she's pushing.  Could SOMEONE
come in here?"  Payam ran back in and a different nurse came in.
Fortunately, she was a lot better than the first nurse.  She checked
me and said I was ready to push and told me that she was going to call
a doctor in.  I was panting at this point to stop from pushing and
told her I wanted my doctor.  She was really reassuring and told me my
baby wasn't going to wait and that I had this anyway.  So I took a
deep breath and said fine and they called a doctor out of the hall.  A
man came in and introduced himself to my backside and then said "can
you turn over?" (I was still on my hands and knees)  I was too busy
panting to answer him so the nurse answered for me.  She said, "No,
she can't and you can deliver the baby just like that."  Then she told
me to go ahead and push.

I was afraid of how much that was going to hurt so I gave a couple of
really tentative half pushes.  Then I thought, OK God, I know I have
to do it so please give me the strength and let's do this.  Then I
gave a strong push and to my utter amazement I felt the entire baby
fly out just like that.  The doctor had just turned around from
putting on his gloves and had to jump to catch the baby.  (Kindra
ended up scooping up his body because the doctor barely managed to get
his hands on his head.)  I flipped over and tried to recover from the
shock that A) it was over already and B) pushing barely even hurt!
Then I realized that there was a problem.

Aziz wasn't breathing.  The doctor didn't seem to notice this as he
was busy pulling on the cord to extract the placenta.  I started
saying, "my baby, my baby, he's not breathing!" and Kindra started
yelling at everyone.  Finally, they patted him a bit and he woke up.
Apparently, the problem was that he was born asleep and they needed to
wake him up so he could start breathing.  Anyway, he was fine and I
felt unbelievably great, but a little shaken.  Nobody had taken a
heart rate during the entire delivery.  My doctor finally showed up
about half an hour after the birth and I was so annoyed with her I
could barely manage to be polite.  I didn't care, anyway.  I just
wanted to cuddle my baby and thank God and my family because at least
they were paying attention.  The nurse (the saving grace to the
otherwise shoddy service I received that day) looked me in the eye and
said "you know, you're one of those women who would be much better off
at home."  I truly think Aziz's delivery would have been safer at home
because at least a medical professional would have been paying
attention.  Lucky for us, we really didn't need much help as it turned
out.

I wanted to get out of there and get home so I could take care of my
baby and see Kai as soon as possible.  8 hours later, Payam had
successfully navigated the hospital and we were heading home.  On our
way out, we saw the same couple in the waiting room.  We asked how
their daughter was doing and they said she was still pushing.  I
thought, well that's why we need hospitals, for those less fortunate
than me and I swallowed my annoyance and headed home with my darlings.

A few years later, I learned that the doctor who stepped in to deliver
Aziz was on the board of directors at Kai's school.  We were working a
booth together when I recognized his name from Aziz's birth
certificate (I had never really seen his face.)  I told him he had
delivered my son and he studied me for a minute and said "Oh!  You're
the one who delivered on her hands and knees!"  Surprised, I said "Uh,
yeah, but THE one.  You mean you've never had anyone else do that?"
He laughed and said no, that it was very unusual.  I found the
conversation odd because I don't think it's unusual at all in natural
birth and I actually think it's highly preferable.  Aziz's birth was
definitely the easiest and I think the position had a lot to do with
that.

Kai's Birth Story, Genesta's first born and her first natural birth

 I am very privileged to be in a family of amazing women. Women that are amazing mothers and who truly trust the birthing process. My mother had all of us in a birthing clinic naturally with a D.O. Both of my aunts had natural home births with all of their children. I also have a cousin, Kindra, who is a doula. I will be sharing my oldest cousin, Genesta's, birth stories this week. She has had three pregnancies and births, and has four children. Her last were twin girls. She is truly an inspiration to me, as a mother and as a birther.

 Kai's Birth Story

I went into labor around 9pm.  I knew I should get to sleep but mom,
Payam, and I were so excited that we stayed up for several hours chit
chatting.  Finally, around midnight, we tried to go to bed.  The
contractions were coming every 15-20 minutes and were painful but not
very strong yet.  I found I could doze off and then only half wake up
during the contractions.  After a few hours I couldn't really sleep
through them anymore so I got up and took a bath.  I talked to my baby
and timed contractions for awhile, then lie back down in bed and
waited for morning.

Payam and mom got up early and we all had breakfast.  The contractions
were gradually getting a little stronger and by morning were about 5-10 minutes apart.  I felt them more in my back than my abdomen so I
crouched down on all fours and tried to stretch out my back.  Payam
got behind me and put a hand on each of my hips then squeezed in an
up.  That was an enormously effective technique that made the
contractions virtually pain free (at least for me:)  Mom didn't have
the strength to do it and Payam's muscles were pretty sore the next
day but man did it work.  Around 9am Payam and I took a shower.  Under
the hot water the contractions started coming faster and stronger so that after  20 minutes I had to get out.  Then they slowed down again
but the intensity was still increasing.

Around 10:30am I decided to call the midwife.  I told her the
contractions were feeling stronger but were still coming every 5-10
minutes and she said to sit tight and call her when they were 2-3
minutes apart.  I was starting to feel uncomfortable with staying at
home when I was planning on delivering in the hospital so I asked my
mom to check me.  She gently told me that it didn't look like I was in
active labor yet and warned me that I was probably only a couple of
centimeters.  But since I was insistent she checked me anyhow and to
everybody's surprise but mine I was at 5cm.  I called the midwife back
and told her I was coming in.

Driving in the car in active labor wasn't a whole lot of fun,
especially since Payam couldn't really do his magic hip squeeze thing
in the car.  At my midwife's office she confirmed that I was 5cm and
sent us to the hospital with instructions to call her again when I was
at 6cm.  Walking into the hospital I had to stop several times to deal
with the contractions since I couldn't really walk through them
anymore.  They checked me in fast and said they wanted to monitor the
baby's heart rate for a few minutes but before doing that the nurse
wanted to check my dilation.  She checked and said I was at 8cm and
we'd better call the midwife so she left and I skipped the monitoring.

At this point the contractions were still coming every 5-10 minutes
but they were getting really intense.  The pain was still primarily in
my back so Payam started in on the hip squeezes and I started praying.
 As I got into transition the contractions finally got close together.
 Now they were coming hard and fast and I couldn't really talk to
anyone anymore.  The contractions required all of my energy and so I
really retreated into myself.  I kept chanting over and over again in
my head "Is there any remover of difficulties save God.  Say, He is
God, O God my God.  All are His servants and all abide by His
bidding."  At this point I really didn't want anyone else to talk.  I
retreated into myself and became really intensely aware of every
sensation in my body.  I felt like there was really no room for
anybody in my consciousness other than my baby and God.  It was a
really intense spiritual experience that was only slightly marred by
the fact that my midwife STILL wasn't there.

After about twenty-five minutes of near constant contractions I
started feeling like I really just needed a rest.  I asked God to
please give me a break for just a few minutes and then I could get
back into it.  That wasn't forthcoming so I decided to change position
and asked the nurse if I could get in the shower.  My midwife got
there at that point and said I could and that she was going to get
ready.  I manged to walk to the bathroom on somewhat shaky legs but I
felt like I needed to go to the bathroom before getting in the shower.
 Watching me on the toilet my mom said "are you sure that's not the
baby you're working on?"  I said I didn't know so the nurse came in and said that yes, I was pushing.  My mom started getting really
annoyed then and snapped at her, "Is THIS enough to get the midwife
here?"  I stayed on the toilet, shaking from head to toe for a few
minutes until my midwife came back in.  She helped me to the bed.

I asked if I could squat and she said okay, but I would need to lie
down for a minute while they got the squat bar set up.  I never
managed to summon the energy to get back up once I was down.  My
midwife told me that everything was fine and I could go ahead and push.  At first I was relieved but with the first push I felt like the
entire core of my body was being ripped apart.  That was my first real
shock and I blocked everybody out and started praying again.  After
about ten minutes I couldn't even pray anymore.  My mom had always
delivered so fast that I was surprised that I was still pushing.  But
my midwife said she could see the head and he was coming down just
fine and I didn't have long.  So I summoned up my courage and got
through a few more pushes.  Finally, I started praying to God to just
end it and told Him that never mind, I didn't have to have a baby
after all.  That was probably the lowest point.

But right after that everybody started saying they could see the head
and I felt a new pain.  This one was a burning sensation and I was so
relieved to feel it.  I managed to gasp out that I wanted to see the
head and as soon as they put a mirror up for me I regained my
composure and told God that I could hang in there with Him after all.
I thought we were about done but my midwife said he was too big and
we'd have to go slow.  She had me pant for a couple of contractions
and then push slowly while she massaged the perinneum and tried to
ease out his head.  I felt like I could manage as long as I could see
the head but whenever somebody blocked my view I got really panicky.
Gradually, slowly, and carefully, she eased the head out.  Then, one
last push and there he was, a huge purple healthy looking boy.  I was
in utter shock.  I looked at mom and told her, "You didn't tell me it would feel like that!"  She just laughed and shook her head.  Payam
was all smiles and Kai was just beautiful.  The nurse told me it was
the most controlled delivery she'd ever seen and that I made it look
easy, which I thought was rather ironic.  At that moment, I was just
so grateful to God that it was over and relieved to finally see my
baby but in retrospect it was an amazing experience in and of itself.
I've never felt closer to God than I do during childbirth and it
taught me to trust myself.