Are babies born to BE SERVANTS or to BE SERVED? (Babywise series)

 

If you are just now joining us for the Why I'm Not Babywise Series, Welcome! Please take some time to read the previous posts, especially my Intro/Disclaimer so you can read the rest of the posts in context. I am seeking to be very sensitive to my readers who may implement Babywise. I pray we can all show one another grace as we seek to parent all of our babies in the way God leads us. I invite considerate comments, whether you agree or disagree.

"And whoever wants to be first must be slave of all.  For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.” Mark 10:44-45

"Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves,  not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others. In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus."Philippians 2:3-5

"Then people brought little children to Jesus for him to place his hands on them and pray for them. But the disciples rebuked them. Jesus said, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.” When he had placed his hands on them, he went on from there." Matthew 19:13-15

One of the main problems I have with Babywise (BW) or other Baby Training (BT) books is that there is an overall attitude that having a baby shouldn't really change life much. Well, let me tell you, a baby changes EVERYTHING! From cry-it-out (CIO) to rigid schedules to hands-off parenting, BT books teach you how to get your baby to cater to you.

" If you want to know what your day is going to be like each day so you can schedule outings with your friends or date nights with your husband then get that baby on a schedule. Don't let your baby rule the roost. Take charge!"

As I read BW the overall feel I got when I read it was that using BW will make your baby convenient. I got the impression that BW teaches a parent-centered style of baby rearing, instead of family centered or a baby sensitive style. Isn't it wrong to be self-centered? Especially in our parenting?

What does Jesus teach us? Jesus came to serve, not to be served. He is our ultimate example. In Philippians, Paul, inspired by God, tells us to value others above ourselves. Does this not include babies? He tells us to consider the interests of others. Does this not include babies and children? He tells us that in our relationship with ONE ANOTHER (babies are one another) to have the same mindset as Christ Jesus! Does this not include babies?

There is nothing convenient about living for Jesus and striving to become like Jesus. I am so far from what I should be. I am not the servant that I want to be or the servant that God calls me to be, but I am praying and striving to be more like Jesus in this area. Living for Jesus means dying to self daily and living for Him and for others. We are to be servants to others, and not expect others to serve us. We are to consider others BETTER than ourselves, even small babies.

Jesus took the time to love on children. When the disciples claimed Jesus was too busy and rebuked him for letting the children come to him, Jesus made a point to let the children sit on his lap and pray for them. There is no one busier that Jesus. The busiest mom on the planet isn't busier than Jesus. Did he view children as an inconvenience or a blessing?

I realize that no matter what sort of parenting style a mom follows (by choice or by default) that there is an element of sacrifice. Every good mother sacrifices for her children and serves her children. But what is the attitude of your heart? (again, asking myself this too)

When your baby needs to be nursed 30 minutes after they just ate do you view it as an opportunity to serve them and meet their needs, or as an inconvenience that is messing up your schedule? When your baby has a hard time settling down to sleep do you strive to serve them and meet their needs or do you view it as an inconvenience and force them to cry themselves to sleep? When your baby just needs some extra loving do you joyfully hold them or wear them or do you view it as an inconvenience that is keeping your from other things you need to get done? (I am asking these questions to myself too) No matter what parenting style we follow we all struggle with serving our babies and meeting their needs 24/7. But since when were babies supposed to serve our needs and be convenient? 

As I read BW and starting fantasizing about having that "perfect" baby that he described I was reminded of Jesus and how he came to serve and not to be served, and that he gave his life as a ransom for many. If I want my babies and children to see Jesus in me, I need to strive to be like Jesus in how I parent them. I don't need to try to get them to sleep through the night prematurely just so I can have a more convenient night of sleep. I don't need to force them onto a four hour feeding schedule that they are not physically ready for just because some author told me to. I don't need to stop nursing or rocking them to sleep for fear of spoiling them. All I need to do is be like Jesus to them and seek to meet their needs and serve them. That's it. 

Sacrifice, not convenience.

How should a Christian respond to the death of Bin Laden?

 

photo credit

How should a Christian respond to the death of Osama bin Laden?

This post is more of me just thinking out loud than any sort of a position paper or conclusion on the subject.

I think a good place to start is by saying that this is obviously a great victory for the U.S. military. After almost ten years of searching for this man that murdered many Americans he has been found and "justice has been served". It probably also brings a little bit of peace and comfort to the families of 9/11 victims. Let me also say, that I am so thankful for the men and women who serve in the armed forces and sacrifice so much to keep our country safe. I know that the military is necessary and on one hand I am very much pro-military. I would not protest at the funeral of a fallen military person, I would attend and love on the family and be sad for the loss. The loss of any life is a great tragedy...unless they know Jesus, then there is also an element of joy. 

Let me repeat that so it sinks in, the loss of any life is a great tragedy.

Now all politics aside...

Let us think about this biblically and try to set politics aside for a moment. Let us think about Jesus, remember him? The one who said to turn the other cheek and if your enemy asks you to go one mile to go an extra mile also. The one who said to love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you. The one who DID love his enemies and DID pray for those who persecuted him. The one who was led by his enemies like a sheep to the slaughter and opened not his mouth. The one who said, "Father, forgive them for they know not what they do." The one who died for ALL sinners that would repent and place their faith in Him. The one who died for you and me and Osama bin Laden. 

When I heard the news this morning I didn't know how to feel. You see, I have prayed for Osama bin Laden and Qaddafi and Ahmadinejad. I have prayed that the Lord would give them visions and dreams of Jesus and draw them to Himself. I have prayed that they would come to know Christ. I suppose no one can know if bin Laden might have had a vision of Christ the night before he was killed. God is Sovereign after all and knew this was all going to happen. Maybe he decided to be merciful and draw him to Himself in the hour of his death. I don't know. None of us do. I have heard many stories of God meeting Muslims in their dreams to present Christ and the gospel to them. Many Muslims have been converted to Christ through such dreams. So I pray this will happen for all Muslims and also for the radical leaders like Qaddafi and Ahmadinejad. 

It makes me think of Nebuchadnezzar in the book of Daniel. He was an evil king like many kings are past and present. He commanded that all bow to him and there were 3 young men who wouldn't. They were put in a blazing furnace to be killed and God protected them miraculously. Those looking on saw a "fourth person" in there with them. When they came out they didn't even smell of smoke. This was Neb's response:

 ²⁸ Then Nebuchadnezzar said, “Praise be to the God of Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego, who has sent his angel and rescued his servants! They trusted in him and defied the king’s command and were willing to give up their lives rather than serve or worship any god except their own God. ²⁹ Therefore I decree that the people of any nation or language who say anything against the God of Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego be cut into pieces and their houses be turned into piles of rubble, for no other god can save in this way.”

Let us remember that God can change anyone's heart. He can change the hearts of evil kings and rulers if he pleases. Remember Saul of Tarsus who became Paul? He persecuted and killed many Christians, yet God was merciful to him. Jesus met him on the road to Damascus and brought salvation, mercy, grace, and forgiveness to this "enemy". Jesus died for his enemies, even men such as Osama bin Laden.

It makes me sad as I see Christians putting up facebook statuses being excited about Osama's death and "go USA", "We got him." Oh, and not to mention the videos of patriotic country songs. Although I understand their excitement our allegiance is first to a King, not a country. Our allegiance is to King Jesus first. We are Christians first, and Americans second. This is not our home. We are citizens of heaven. We should not rejoice in a soul spending eternity in hell, no matter who it is. We should love our enemies and pray for those who persecute us. Right?! I mean, please tell me if I'm wrong. 

 I just read the parable in Matthew 18 about the unmerciful servant. He owed a rather large debt to his owner and begged for mercy from the owner. The owner granted him mercy and canceled his debt. Then this same servant wouldn't grant mercy to a fellow slave who owed him money. When the owner caught wind of it this is what he said:

  ³² “Then the master called the servant in. ‘You wicked servant,’ he said, ‘I canceled all that debt of yours because you begged me to. ³³ Shouldn’t you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you?’ ³⁴ In anger his master handed him over to the jailers to be tortured, until he should pay back all he owed.    ³⁵ “This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother or sister from your heart.”

We are that servant who should be begging for mercy from God. Let us not forget the sin debt that we have incurred towards a holy God. We are all sinners and if it weren't for the grace of God in our lives we could all be "Osama bin Laden." Paul says in 1 Timothy 1:15  "Here is a trustworthy statement that deserves full acceptance: Christ came into the world to save sinners- of who I am the worst." We should all echo that statement of Paul. As we come to grips with the holiness of God and our own sinfulness we should rightly say of ourselves that we are each individually the worst of sinners. Thanks be to God for Jesus Christ! 

Let us all turn to Jesus for salvation (if you haven't) and thank him for that salvation (if you are already his), American and Arab alike. Let us all seek to be like Jesus. Let us love our enemies and pray for those who persecute us. Yes, even radical Muslim leaders. They are not too far from the grace of God.

What are your thoughts? How did you feel when you heard the news? How should a Christian think through this and respond to the death of bin Laden?

And for another great post on this subject... How should Christians think about the death of Bin Laden?

Repost: A Great Royal Wedding to Come

picture from International Business Times
I couldn't have said it better myself....this is a beautiful post, please go read it!
A Great Royal Wedding to Come

As followers of Christ, we are royalty.  1 Peter 2:9-10 says that those who are followers of Christ are a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God's special possession. We are sons and daughters of THE KING; therefore, we are princes and princesses. We are royalty.

This morning the bishop of London said that every wedding is a royal wedding because we are all subjects of the King of creation.

I loved watching the wedding this morning (I recorded it so I could fast forward through hours of meaningless commentary), but I am more looking forward to my great royal wedding to come. My wedding where Jesus is the Bridegroom and I receive my eternal home in heaven. This is the wedding I look forward to!

A Good Friday Indeed

This week I have been reading through the different accounts in the gospels of the triumphal entry through the resurrection and I am so humbled and amazed by the love of God and the sacrifice of Christ.
Romans 5:8 But God demonstrates His own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.
Thank you for good Friday, thank you Jesus for dying on the cross for me to absorb the wrath of God so I didn’t have to. You took my punishment so I could go free. You became sin for me so I could have your righteousness. What an amazing gift of love!

In Christ Alone video

There is a Fountain video

It's Friday, but Sunday's coming

Thank you Jesus that because of your blood I can be cleansed and have all my guilty stains washed away!!! Thank you Jesus!

Eight Reasons Why I Believe Jesus rose from the dead @Desiring God

The Evidence for the Resurrection @Grace to You

Have a blessed holiday weekend. See you after Easter. I pray you enjoy worshipping our Risen Lord! 

Sowing Seeds, Bearing Fruit (and Vegetables?)

We have been sowing seeds and growing seedlings in hopes that they will yield fruit and vegetables in due season. And you have to make sure that you have good, fertile soil or everything else is done in vain.  And when I say "we" I mean my husband. Like I said in a previous post, the garden has been his thing, but I am going to try to help out this summer and learn more about the joys of gardening. I love fresh veggies and fruit from our very own backyard, but it is a lot of work initially. 

It just so happened that last week I was studying about some gardening and agriculture parables in Matthew 13 of the Holy Bible. They mean even more to me now that I have some agricultural knowledge (well, more than I did in the past at least). So I thought I would share some thoughts I had while studying. 

First of all, I encourage you to go read Matthew 13 for yourself and ask the Lord to give you fresh insight into these parables before you read about the insight the Lord gave me. And please share with me your thoughts in the comment section. 

The Parable of the Sower

Thankfully, Jesus explains this one to us in verses 18-23 so we don't have to guess as to what he means when he tells this parable in verses 1-8. 

Some of my thoughts:

• The good news goes out to many but not all hearts are regenerated, and the lives that are regenerated yield different amounts of fruit. 
• 2 kinds of listeners: wise and foolish (cross references Matthew 7:15-19, 10:32-33) Those who bear good fruit and those who bear bad fruit. Those who confess Jesus and those who reject Jesus. 
• only the last soil represents the heart of a believer because only the last soil bears fruit. The other 3 soils do not allow the seed to grow, or if they do, it quickly dies. (If you think of this parable from the perspective of a farmer you will see that only the soil that bears fruit if of any use to you)
• the farmer would say that soil that does not give growth to the seed is bad and useless. 
• The sower represents Jesus, but also can represent any of us that go out sowing seed. 
• The seed represents the word of the kingdom. 
• The first soil is rock and the seed can't even penetrate it. This is someone who hears the word, but their heart is too hard to even consider it. 
• The second soil is someone who experiences a brief emotional high after hearing the gospel, but is not truly converted and has no root. This is someone who thought that life with Jesus seemed wonderful, but did not take the time to count the cost. Maybe this is someone who just wanted "their best life now" but didn't realize that there are hardships that come with following Jesus. Since this person didn't have a firm root they fell away when tribulation and trials came. 
• The third soil is someone who hears the word and seems to be following Jesus for awhile, but does not want to give up the things of this world: love of money, materialism, etc. 
• The last soil is a true believer. He hears the word, understands it, and bears fruit. Only good soil can bear fruit, as any farmer or gardener can attest to. 
• Believers bear different yields of fruit. Some believers might be more radically committed to bearing fruit than others, or given different gifts and abilities from the Father. All fruit is pleasing to the Lord and brings God glory. 

Other thoughts:

• Matthew 3:1-10 teaches that we are to bear fruit in keeping with repentance. Every tree that does not bear fruit is cut down and thrown into the lake of fire. 
• Luke 6:43-45 teaches that no good tree bears bad fruit, and vice versa. Each tree is known by its fruit, just as true believers are known by their fruit. The good person out of the good treasure of his heart produces good, and vice versa. For out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks. (a thought: a good way to know what we treasure is by what we talk about)
• John 15:1-8 To bear fruit we must abide in Jesus. Jesus is the vine and we are the branches. "Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing." Those that claim to be believers but bear no fruit prove to have false faith. You prove to be a disciple by bearing fruit. No fruit=no proof of discipleship. 

How God convicted me through this parable:

I care a lot about bearing fruit of ministry in my life. I care a lot about people hearing the gospel and believers being discipled. But I need to concentrate also on the fruits of the Spirit in my life as laid out in Galatians 5:22-23. Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Faithfulness, Gentleness, and Self-control. 

I pray that my character would be more Christ-like and that I would bear the fruits of the Spirit more evidently in my life. 
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For further study on this parable check out this sermon by John MacArthur

One final random question:

Why doesn't the Bible talk about bearing vegetables? Anyone know?

I would love to hear your thoughts and applications on this parable as well. Post comments here at Memphis Misfit Mama

Prodigal Dogs and Pharisee Cats

Original post at Memphis Misfit Mama

Disclaimer: I am a dog person and not a huge fan of cats and that might come across in this post. No disrespect to you cat lovers out there. :)

My dogs ran away today...again.

About two and a half years ago they ran away after we forgot to put the padlock on the gate. They were gone for 2 hours before we finally found them. I called all the friends I could think of to make up the search team and a good friend of ours came across them in a park near our home. I was hysterical and when I was finally reunited with them I was relieved and overcome with tears of joy that they were safe and they were home.

About two weeks ago my dogs ran away. This time they bolted right in front of our eyes as I was opening the gate to talk to my husband who was in the back yard doing yard work. He ran after them as I hurriedly got baby girl and I into the car. They just ran and ran, looked back at him, and then bolted. They ran across a busy four lane street in rush hour traffic. I put on the hazards when I finally caught up with them and threw them in the car. When we got home I had no tears of joy or relief, only anger, and they were punished for their actions, only in the most gentlest of ways of course.

Today they ran away. We went on a walk this morning and I must not have closed the gate tight enough (and I forgot the padlock) and it is a very windy day here in Memphis. As I was leaving the house to go visit my husband at work I noticed the gate was open. My heart sank. My husband called his father to help me look. I drove through the areas where we always walk and was fortunate enough to come across a neighborhood security guard driving around and gave him my information. About 40 minutes later he called me and said a lady had reported a big black dog swimming in her pool and it looked like she was about to drown. Luckily I made it to the address in a few minutes. (come to find out we had just met these neighbors a few weeks ago when they hosted a party for a ministry we help with) Kyleigh was relieved to see me as she looked exhausted and couldn't figure out how to get out. Louie was by her side on the edge of the pool. (he would never run away if it weren't for her bad influence) After having been out for possibly three hours and swimming in the pool for who knows how long, it is a blessing that I found her still swimming and alive. I thought I was going to see a mass of black and white fur on the side of one of the many busy roads near our home.

Needless to say, today I was relieved and overcome with joy to have found them. I was not angry in the least, except at myself for forgetting the padlock. I was so happy to see them and it was an extra blessing of God that we knew the people whose pool they had jumped into.

My dogs teach me a lot about God. I think about how dumb they are to run away when they are cared for so well within the confines of my home and backyard. The boundaries are there for their protection, so that they don't get out and so strays don't get in. They are walked almost every day, fed plenty of food, and always have water. They are very loved, despite their rebellious ways. Why would they be so dumb and cruel to run away? Why would they cause me so much grief and break my heart like this?

Of course when anyone or anything runs away we often think of the parable of the prodigal son and the older brother. Luke 15  shares this story, as well as the lost sheep and the lost coin. I love the truth of God searching for the one sheep that runs off, and the lady rejoicing when she finds the lost coin, but the parable of the prodigal son is my favorite on "lostness". You see, I can relate so much to this prodigal son and to my dogs. God has set loving boundaries for me within his word. The boundaries are there to protect me and for my good. God takes such good care of me and has blessed me with so much in His Son, so why do I sometimes wander off? I am not so different from my dogs am I? The prodigal son had a life of luxury and goodness and love at his father's home, but wanted his inheritance early so he could enjoy the pleasures of this world. When he had squandered all his money and was going hungry he decided to return home. When his father saw him from a distance he ran to him. (unheard of in that culture at that time) He embraced him and forgave him. He rejoiced that he had returned. Never mind the grief it had caused him. Never mind the broken heart and the worry. He forgave him and loved him. He rejoiced that although he was lost, now he was found. This is what God does with us. 

The older brother is like a pharisee, or like a cat.  The older brother only had disdain for the way his father welcomed back the prodigal son. He, after all, had never left and broken his father's heart. The other day I saw a neighborhood cat roaming around and I asked my husband, "why is it that cats always go home and never run away, but dogs are supposed to be known for being loyal, yet always wander off?" I think I might have some insight into this answer. We all know from popular cartoons that cats think they are better than dogs. They think themselves to be more sophisticated, smarter, and civilized than dogs. They pride themselves in never running away. They look down at dogs for their carefree, uncivilized, beastly ways. They are much like Pharisees. They might not ever run off, but are they truly loyal? Do you ever really have the loyalty and love of a cat? I am sure cat lovers would say yes, but I would beg to differ. They might not ever leave, but are they really loyal to you? Do they just do all the right things without the heart behind it? You see, dogs might run away over and over again, but they really do love their owners. They truly are loyal creatures and they love their owners immensely.

I could tell today that my dog was very relieved to see me. I can tell from her demeanor that she knows she did something wrong. Knowing that she almost drowned, there is no way I can be mad at her. I must forgive her for she is just like me. God forgives me over and over again when I rebel against His love and protection and boundaries, so I need to forgive my dogs as well.

No matter what, I would rather be more like a prodigal dog than a pharisee cat.

I am thankful for a God that forgives both prodigal dogs and pharisee cats and gives all of us the grace to walk in obedience and faithfulness to Him daily.

The Miracle of Life, New Life, and the arrival of my Nephew

(facebook readers: check out the original post at Memphis Misfit Mama


My nephew was born last night at 2:03 am. (and by nephew I mean my best friend/like a sister's baby). It is a miracle that he is alive. (more on that later)


I started thinking about how life is a miracle. Conception is a miracle. With so many people that can't conceive and with so many people that conceive but don't carry full term and lose their babies, I am reminded that conception and life in the womb is truly a miracle, sustained by God alone. God is the Author and Sustainer of life. And not just the life of babies in the womb, but of your life and mine. Each breath is given to us by the Creator. He created us and He sustains us. The human body is so amazing and He is the one that causes our heart to beat and our lungs to breathe. He is the one who Sustains life. 


Also, new life in Christ is a miracle. God breathes His life giving Spirit into a dead stone cold heart and causes our heart to beat and move for Him. He makes us into new creations. (2 Corinthians 5:17). He gives us His Spirit and causes us to be born again. (John 3) God is the one who gives us new life in His Son, he is also the one who sustains this life in His Son. I would dare to say that new life in Christ is the biggest miracle of all. Before we know Christ, we are all dead in our sins. A dead person cannot do anything but be dead. Christ miraculously breathes His life into someone and gives them faith and true life, eternal life. What a miracle. 


Spring makes me think of life. It makes me think of little chicks and little bunnies and of new buds on the trees and of flowers blooming. After the dead of winter new life is so refreshing. Spring also reminds me that God brings new life to us. He gives life to us and makes our dead hearts alive in Him. 


My best friend was fortunate to have a spring baby. Now I am sure every spring she will not only think about new life in Christ or new life in creation, but also the new life that God has blessed her with this spring of 2011. And the life of my "nephew" is truly a miracle. After major complications, him having lost all oxygen, and an emergency C-section he is truly a miracle. It is truly a miracle that he is alive. New life is a miracle. Today I feel that more than ever. 


I had another friend that had major complications in her pregnancy and her little miracle didn't receive a long life in this world, but was welcomed to heaven after just an hour of life here. He too was and is a miracle that has brought so much glory to God. 


The life of my nephew and the life and death of my friend's baby both bring glory to God and show the goodness of God and His power to sustain life. Sometimes He sustains that life here, and sometimes He takes that life to heaven to sustain it there for all of eternity. 


Most of all, life in Christ is a miracle and anyone who is a new creation in Christ will be sustained by Him for all eternity. This brings hope during birth and during death, and every day in between. 


Welcome to the world Silas Cruse Edwards. You truly are a miracle. I pray you will be born again at a young age and experience new life in Christ. 






¹³ For you created my inmost being;
   you knit me together in my mother’s womb. ¹⁴ I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
   your works are wonderful,
   I know that full well. ¹⁵ My frame was not hidden from you
   when I was made in the secret place,
   when I was woven together in the depths of the earth. ¹⁶ Your eyes saw my unformed body;
   all the days ordained for me were written in your book
   before one of them came to be. ¹⁷ How precious to me are your thoughts,^[a] God!
   How vast is the sum of them! ¹⁸ Were I to count them,
   they would outnumber the grains of sand—
   when I awake, I am still with you.

Praying for Japan and the Middle East

Matthew 24:4-8
 ⁴ Jesus answered: “Watch out that no one deceives you. ⁵ For many will come in my name, claiming, ‘I am the Messiah,’ and will deceive many. ⁶ You will hear of wars and rumors of wars, but see to it that you are not alarmed. Such things must happen, but the end is still to come. ⁷ Nation will rise against nation, and kingdom against kingdom. There will be famines and earthquakes in various places. ⁸ All these are the beginning of birth pains."

There has been crazy stuff going on in this world. From everything in the Middle East to the earthquake and tsunami in Japan, it makes me go "what is going on Lord?" And it reminds me that Jesus will come back. Each day we are closer than we were yesterday to the Day of the Lord. Because of that, those who know Jesus can have hope and peace. For those that don't, I pray they would be drawn to Him through these tragedies. We need to be praying for our brothers and sisters in Christ that are scattered all over the Middle East. We need to pray that they would be bold in the face of persecution, and that they would use every opportunity to speak the gospel and to declare where true freedom comes from--only from Christ. We need to also pray that those in the Middle East that do not know Jesus would come to know Him, that they would hear the gospel from believers there or that Jesus would meet them in their dreams. And for Japan, we need to pray that they would find comfort and peace in the only thing that is constant, in the firm foundation of Christ our Lord. He is a Rock and Stronghold. I pray too for the believers there, that they would rise up and serve their fellow countrymen and show Christ in word and deed. I pray for those there that do not know Him, that they would seek Him for answers and draw near to Him for comfort. Let us all be reminded of the frailty of our owns lives and not take a single breath for granted.