Melissa's natural hospital birth, but almost an unplanned home birth!

Can I just say I knew next to nothing about babies or pregnancy when I learned I was pregnant with my first child.  I was teaching 3rd and 4th grade at the time and would literally completely forget I was pregnant during the course of my busy days in the classroom.  I had given up birth control because of the side effects I was experiencing and so we were implementing "The Family Planning" method.  Didn't exactly help us ward off a pregnancy, but God had different plans.  Getting a nice cushion of my salary for five years like I had planned in my head was not going to happen.  After I became pregnant, there was once that I went to the bathroom at school and saw some slimy, alien-looking thing in the toilet and ran back to my classroom to google if it was possible to have a painless miscarriage with no bleeding!  For the rest of that day in between teaching about personal narratives and multiplication I tried to come to terms with the fact that I had lost my baby.  Looking back, this is the most ridiculous thing in the world, but you know how you get during those first few weeks of pregnancy.  You are just nervous about every little thing.  Needless to say, my pregnancy progressed as normal.

Jadon Scott Gilmour decided to enter this world on May 31, 2007, six days before his due date.  I had decided to take a family leave in the middle of May and not finish out the school year so I could have some peace and a little time to prepare for his arrival.  Like I said earlier, my first year of teaching required every last ounce of my physical, emotional, and mental energy and I almost paid no attention to the little guy while teaching unless he started kicking and contracting.  I had Braxton Hicks contractions pretty early in my pregnancy beginning around month 7.  By my last day of work I was 36 1/2 weeks pregnant and already 4 centimeters dialated!  My coworkers were shocked each day I kept showing up.  The doctor had long since told me to pack my bags, but I finally went into labor just about three weeks after coming home from work.

During my pregnancy I decided that I wanted to try to have a natural childbirth.  This was mostly because of fear of an epidural because of a friend from high school whose mom was paralyzed due to a botched epidural.  I know the odds are like one in a million, but I happened to have personal contact with that "one".  I read a Bradley book and talked to other women who had experienced natural childbirth to prepare.  I had a really laid back doctor who told me to skip the hospital classes because they were a waste of time.  It was good advice for my personality.  I loved reading the Bradley book--and yes, looking at the pictures--because for me, knowledge is power and it gave me greater peace to know what I was in for! 

I was out at the pool with my in-laws having lunch and watching my husband play tennis between 11 and 12 that morning.  (Ha, those were the days!)  Anyway, we were sitting having lunch and I started to put my head down a lot.  My mother-in-law asked if I was in labor and I said I had no idea, probably not.  The lady working in the pro-shop brought us a clock and sure enough they were coming consistently 7 minutes apart.  Scotty and I finished lunch and decided to head back home.  I had a couple contractions in the car, but that didn't stop me from having Scotty drive thru McDonald's and get me an ice cream cone. :) When I got home, Scotty had to head up to his work at a nearby high school to finish entering some grades for the end of the year report cards.  While he was gone, I remember showering and blow drying my hair between contractions.  So funny!  By the time he came back home they were far more intense and getting closer together.  When Scotty got home I was starting to "freak out".  I was losing control of the pain and I remember rolling all over my bed in pain and screaming.  That was when Scotty called my friend, Carla, a physical therapist who had had two children naturally.  We had already planned to have her there as my doula of sorts, but were a little slow in actually calling her to come over.  God used her in a tremendous way to calm me down and get me back in control of my contractions.  She helped me get "in the zone" and from that point on people said I looked like I was asleep.  This is hilarious to me.  The last thing I was, was asleep!!  However, I was so in my own world and trying to relax into my contractions that I lost all track of time and had no clue who was around.  This went on for several hours.  Eventually, I told Carla that I needed to poop.  I remember leaning against the bathroom wall in my house when she said, "Wait a second, are you pushing?"  I was definitely pushing and there was no poop coming out!  She told me to get in the car and I rode in her van on my hands and knees to the hospital.  I found out after the fact that I transitioned on the way to the hospital.  When I arrived I declined the wheelchair and they quickly realized I was in full fledged labor.  There was no way that I was going to sit down at this point!  When they checked me I was 10 centimeters dilated!  I was totally shocked by this.  I had mentally been gearing up to go "all night" like so many stories you hear.  Anyway, they got me into a labor & delivery room and 45 minutes later with the help of an episiotomy and suction Jadon Scott Gilmour entered the world at 6:57 p.m.  My first words out of my mouth after giving birth?  "I am never doing that again!"  Well, if you know me you know that Reece and Vera Grace have made a liar out of their mommy!  The experience was thrilling, amazing, agonizing, but also one of the most worshipful experiences in my life.

For the record, I have had three natural childbirths and two episiotomies.  I thought the recovery from my episiotomies was bad until my midwife missed the delivery (she was scrubbed into a c-section at the time) of Vera Grace, my third, and I pushed her out with no coaching or intervention and tore to the front.  Four months later I was finally back to my new "normal".  The third time around I really wanted a zero intervention labor.  That is what I got, but it wasn't all I had dreamed.  I'm not sure what my opinion is about episiotomies, but if I had to make a decision based on my birth experiences I would say "cut me open!"  (Sorry for being crass, but that is just exactly how you feel when you are at the end of labor and just want it to be over.  Are you with me, moms?)  

Anyway...All glory to my God and Father, the Lord Jesus Christ.  Each and every birth is an absolute miracle.  It never ceases to amaze me!  But then again, neither does watching a sunflower seed grow into a beautiful flower.  I mean seriously, who came up with this stuff?  Oh, wait.  The ONE and Only, the Beginning and the End.  God Himself.  He is incredible.

Memphis Misfit Mama's home birth story. One year ago today...

My firstborn, baby girl's birth story.  I cannot believe it has been a whole year!

 One year ago today (May 13th, 2010) I was in labor with my sweet baby girl, although I didn't know she was a girl at the time. We decided to do a homebirth and you can read all about that decision here.

First of all, I had been praying that God would allow me to labor during the day and that I could labor and birth in the labor tub. And of course, that the baby and I were healthy and well. He granted all my prayers and I give Him all the glory. Only His strength got me through the labor and birth, and it was a delight to depend on Him to guide me through this labor. He is my Creator and created me to birth, along with all women. It was fabulous to labor and birth in our home. I thank God for a great labor and birth and healthy baby girl.  

A day before I went into labor my midwife came to my house for my appointment and to check me. I knew that whether or not I was dilated or effaced had no indication as to when I would go into labor but I was curious, so I was checked for the first time at almost 40 weeks. I don't remember what I was when she checked me but there wasn't much going on and I assumed it would be awhile. But I knew that my body could switch into gear at any moment as well so I just tried to trust the Lord on the timing and do all I could to get labor going. (I had been taking some herbs for weeks, walking every day, among other natural labor inducing activities ;)

My labor may have begun early in the morning on May 13th, as I woke up around 6am with cramping, but I passed it off as Braxton Hicks. But something told me the day was getting close regardless, so I got up early and walked the dogs, hoping to move the baby down and get things going. (I had been trying to walk about 2-3 miles every day) I went to teach ESL class at 8:30am, and around 9 I noticed rhythmic cramping, but still didn't know for sure if it was labor. I continued to teach class through these early contractions now even knowing if I was actually in labor. I arrived home around 10:45am, and at 11am I called my midwife while taking a bath.  The contractions were about 5 or 6 minutes apart but hardly painful at all and only lasting about 30 seconds each. She told me to keep her posted, and I laid down to rest. 

I put on a movie and continued to keep track of contractions, still thinking it may be Braxton Hicks because they weren't very painful at all. Around 1pm they started getting more intense, and I called Ben to tell him to come straight home from work as quickly as possible when he got off at 2pm just in case I was in labor. When he got home, he helped me time contractions and we decided to call the midwife again around 3:30pm because they were about 4-5 minutes apart and getting stronger. She told me to take a shower and see if they stopped...they did not. They got more consistent and stronger. I had now begun to have to use breathing techniques through some of them. I asked Ben to make me some french toast and he called the midwife to tell her to come on over. 

I ate french toast between contractions and started drinking a lot of juice.(one huge advantage to birthing at home) I labored leaning my head on the ottoman for much of the time, while I waited for the pool to fill up. The midwife and doula arrived around 5pm or so.Once the tub was ready, I was in it almost constantly, with bathroom breaks. It was probably around 5:30pm or so when I got in the tub. At this point the contractions were about 3 minutes apart and stayed this way for what seemed like forever, although looking back it all went very quickly. I preferred laboring on hands and knees mostly, or leaning over the tub. 

Ben was with me every step of the way, encouraging me and helping me stay calm, giving me water to drink and keeping my temperature comfortable. It was so sweet to have that time just Ben and I. My midwife and doula hung out in the living room and gave us our time and allowed me to do my thing and trust my body. She would come in from time to time to monitor the baby for a couple of contractions and check on us. From this point, I basically just breathed through contractions and rested in between. The pain was very manageable as long as I kept focused on my breathing and not the pain. Ben would touch my face to give me another feeling to focus on besides contractions. There were only a few contractions that were really painful, but most all were very manageable. There were times during the painful ones where I thought to myself "I can't do this" and I would just try to think about the Lord and the strength He would give me. I am thankful I was birthing at home because during those few really bad contractions I am afraid I would have given in and got meds had I been in a hospital. (although I was probably too far dilated for that at this point) We had worship music playing the entire time and it was so great to hear it and at times to hear others singing along to some of the songs. At one point I heard some worship songs that are some of my favorites and it gave me extra strength to persevere. We had the lights low the whole time and candles going so it was such a relaxing atmosphere. (I should add that my mom had arrived by this point and was also a great source of encouragement)

Around 11:00pm I was beginning to feel the urge to push, and then around 11:30pm I couldn't stop from pushing. I had just gotten out of the tub to try to rest before I began pushing because I was so tired and felt I couldn't do it anymore. The midwife was about to check me when all of a sudden I just HAD to get back in the water because I was in so much pain and felt I had to push. (So I was never once checked during my whole birth. We just trusted my body to do its thing). I had hoped to push and deliver on hands and knees but the baby's heart rate dropped in this position so I had to change to sitting. I pushed in the sitting squatting position the whole time, resting in between in the warmth of the birthing tub, with my sweet husband right behind me encouraging me. At one point, they kept telling me they could see my bag of waters bulging and as soon as it broke the head would be right behind. This was definitely encouraging, but I had no idea how much longer the pushing would take. One of the midwives said, "we might have a baby by midnight" and I thought, "no way". Once the bag broke they began telling me they could see the baby's head and that gave me tons of encouragement. When she was crowing it was really painful. Fortunately she was only there for about one or two pushing contractions, but that was probably the worst pain. They put the mirror down there so I could see, but all I could do was keep my eyes closed and focus through the contractions. Finally (I say finally but it was really after only 45 minutes of pushing) around 12:11am on May 14th I pushed out her head. She had the cord wrapped around her a few times but the midwives quickly took care of that, I gave one final push, and out she came...into the water and into my arms at 12:13am May 14th, 2010. She was wide awake and so calm...just staring intently into my eyes.(This moment was well worth going natural. A non-medicated baby is SO alert and I was as well of course) We waited for the cord to stop pulsing before cutting that and getting out of the water.

Finally someone reminded Ben to look and see what the baby was...and he announced "It's a Girl". I was soooo happy. I had a feeling it was a girl and would have been so surprised to get a boy. She was just beautiful. She nursed  not long after she was born and was able to have lots of skin to skin contact with both Ben and myself. (I delivered the placenta about 45 minutes after she was born but will spare those details) Everyone left the room after she was born so we could have time alone with her to nurse and decide on a name. After a couple of hours they weighed her and all that jazz. She was 6lbs, 13 ounces and 20.25 long.

My mom and brother Jordan were there to see the delivery, as well as Ben's mom. Soon after she was born my grandparents and aunt Dawn arrived. We were so blessed to be able to have as much family there as we wanted. 

The next day my dad, step mom, step brother, and brother Erik came, along with Ben's dad. We had a birthday party for her Friday night. :) 

It is so great to be a mom and to have this precious baby. It is such a sweet experience and it was wonderful to experience this with my precious husband. I highly recommend a home birth to anyone who is low-risk and wants to go natural. It was a beautiful experience that I will cherish forever.

I thank God for the little miracle. I can't believe that just a year ago she was inside of me. What a miracle pregnancy and childbirth are. All designed by our loving Creator.

 

Why We Used a Midwife and Had a Homebirth...it's in my genes!

 I posted this over a year ago on my previous blog, but I thought it would be fun to share before I share my birth story.

It’s weird to me to even feel like I have to explain why we are using a midwife because I grew up thinking natural home births were common. That’s probably because my mom had me on the couch at my doctor’s house with a midwife assisting. Then I witnessed (along with the rest of my family…grandpa and all) the natural births of both of my brothers at the doctor’s birthing clinic. It wasn’t scary at all to watch my mom go through birth naturally and without medication, it was such a neat experience that I thought was “normal”.  She birthed each of us and was home in a matter of hours.

As I grew up and started hearing about people having babies in a hospital and having to stay a few days, I thought that was so weird. Come to find out, most of the world thinks the way my mom did things was weird, but not to me. That’s my norm.

And it doesn’t stop there. Both of my aunts on my dad’s side, had all of their children at home, one was even a breach, and was perfectly healthy. My aunt Terri had all 5 children at home. Talk about a wonder woman! And I am so proud of my cousin Kindra for being a certified midwife! Yay! Go Kindra! I wish you lived closer or I lived closer or whatever.


So I never really questioned what I would do if given the option (some states still have laws that don’t allow you to make your own choice about your own birth). I knew I would birth at home or in a clinic with a midwife or a “natural doctor”. Well, I’m not sure Memphis has “natural doctors”…if anyone knows of one let me know. And Memphis has no birthing clinics. So, as long as everything proceeds well and I remain low-risk, the plan is to give birth at home with my midwife and husband assisting.

So am I just choosing this because its in my genes? Well, no…I did my research. I think every woman should research all the birthing options out there before deciding. So often we just go with what we think is the only option, or whatever we are used to or think is the norm.  I don’t have anything against hospitals. I am very thankful for hospitals and doctors. I have seen doctors and been to hospitals before, but I try to stay away if I can.  But I don’t view birth as a medical condition, so I began to think “why would I treat it like one?” For a woman that is low-risk a home birth is just as safe or safer than birthing in a hospital. And I am oh so excited that I won’t have fluorescent lights in my face. And I am also pumped that I can eat if I want, and move around, and get in the birthing tub! Woohoo! I am so excited about that! And if I want to watch movies and listen to music or walk around the block I can do that too, although I don’t want to scare the neighbors. haha
So anyway, I am really excited about laboring in the comfort of my own home with my wonderfully talented and capable midwife assisting, and my precious husband. And we also plan on letting my mom assist since she is a pro! I will be so sad if I am like 3 weeks overdue and the baby is 11 lbs and I am forced to be induced. I am so praying I can follow our desired birth plan.

I have dear friends who have birthed naturally in a hospital (either because of state laws or personal preference) and had great experiences. But actually one of them has naturally birthed in a hospital twice and plans on using a midwife next time so that will be fun! And I have a best friend that had complications and had to have a c-section. Of course she wasn’t excited about it, but it is what was needed for a safe outcome.  So please do not hear my passion for midwife and homebirth as judgement on anyone who does things differently.

But I think people need to be informed about other birthing options, because so many women think a hospital birth with an iv, epidural, and pitocin is the only way. And so many doctors make it seem this way as well. All the women I’ve talked to that have had home births have totally loved their birthing experience. But I also know woman who have birthed in the hospital that have loved it too.

Now don’t get me wrong, I am not excited about the pain. But I am excited about trusting my body and learning how to deal with the pain through natural childbirth. And I am excited about being alert during and after birth so I can remember the experience (well,as much as that is possible) and so I can hold my baby right away. Oh yea, that is another thing that is so great about homebirth. The midwife is so sensitive to let the mother and baby bond and work around that.  That is a great plus to homebirth.

Some people might be offended or feel like I judge them for not having a home birth, or natural birth. Not the case. I just want to express the birthing option I am passionate about and give it some PR because I don’t think enough women look into or are educated about it. So when I post links and articles that is for education not condemnation. Read them if you want to learn more about another birthing option, and if you don’t want to learn don’t read them. I can’t make you. Just like you can’t make me go get strapped down in a hospital. 
A safe delivery and a healthy baby is the most important thing, no matter what birthing process takes place. I just think not enough women know about the benefits of home birth so that’s why I share.
And I wanted to share why I am personally deciding on this birthing method for all those people out there who say, “what the heck? chalise is using a midwife?” yes, that’s the plan…but learn about it before you freak out.


link to my midwife’s site: www.chosenbirths.com
great website www.mybestbirth.com
great movie: www.thebusinessofbeingborn.com
www.birthingnaturally.net

Cindy's story, a 54 hour labor!

  Cindy and I both saw the same midwife and she was due the beginning of May with myself and another girl due May 14th and 15th. Well, said other girl delivered beginning of May and Cindy ended up going into labor on May 13th, along with myself. This left our midwives and doula to do double duty, something that had never happened before. Here is her story:

My husband, Griffin, and I started out our pregnancy the normal route, going to a ob/gyn and planning to deliver in the hospital. Then, around 6 months in, we started feeling very strongly against our original plan because of all the hospital interference with what we felt should be an intimate, natural event. We started considering home birth, even though we only have a small apartment, and found our wonderful midwife, Lynda Hoskins. She kindly helped us, though I was so far along. I immediately felt so much more comfortable, and as though I wasn't just a "patient".

We went through a wonderful childbirth preparation class with Sarah Stockwell, and got more and more excited about the home birth. The pregnancy went well, but the due date came and went. The midwife checked for dilation, but I was only a little effaced with no dilation. Every day I thought, "Maybe this baby will come today" and hoped and prayed he would. But God had some patience to teach me or something.

Finally, at almost 42 weeks, at 2 AM Thursday morning the 13th, I woke up feeling contractions. I was so excited and started timing them at about 20 min. apart, so I woke Griffin up and we called the midwife. She wisely told us to try to sleep as much as we could and call her if the contractions got closer together. So we slept a little and went about the morning somewhat as usual. The contractions were definitely there, but nothing to scream about. We baked bread, cleaned house a little, went for some walks, watched the movie "Patch Adams," and took it easy.

My contractions gradually got closer together, about 5-10 min. apart, so we called the midwife again and she sent her assistant, Dee (the CNM), over around 9 or 10 PM because Lynda was with Chalise, who was in labor at the same time. I was thinking, "Maybe we'll have our babies at the same time!". Dee checked me, and I was still only half effaced and 2 cm dilated. Around midnight Chalise had her baby, which gave me some hope of actually delivering a baby, and Lynda came around 2 AM. I was getting pretty tired at this point, so Griffin and I had slept a little again. I woke up at 2 AM with much stronger contractions around 5 minutes apart. Well, the hours ticked on with not much dilation, I kept eating and moving around. The midwives said I ate more than most women they've seen in labor!

As the contractions got more intense, sometimes double-peaking, Griffin had to help breathe and relax quite a bit. Around 10 PM the midwives checked again, and I was about 4 cm. They suggested we go to the hospital because they were concerned I would be too tired to push the baby out. I was getting exhausted, and rather discouraged and hopeless that the baby would ever get out. Griffin and I prayed and talked it over, and decided to go. I had not packed for an emergency trip, so we quickly gathered what we thought we would need and headed off. I was somewhat excited to go to the hospital, because it seemed to offer some assurance that this labor thing would have an end. But we were also sad to give up the home birth dream.

We got to the hospital and they did their normal procedures, while my contractions still hurt like crazy. They put the epidural in, and my blood pressure dropped severely because my body is extremely sensitive. But what a relief when I could finally relax without feeling the contractions so strongly. Griffin, the midwives, and I all slept the rest of the night except for a visit from the ob. He broke my water to try to help speed things up. That was a surprisingly hard thing for me, because it didn't feel right or natural. The nurses kept increasing the pitocin, but then I started to feel the effects of it emotionally and asked them to stop. The next morning I was still only 5 cm, and the doctor decided we should do a c-section. Griffin and I again prayed and talked, and felt God give us a peace about it. Once the decision was made, 54 hours after labor began, I felt a great deal of relief and joy that this baby was finally going to be born! They prepared me and wheeled me into the OR, which was very bright and white, and there was Michael Jackson playing, both of which I didn't really like. When Griffin came in, all I saw were his eyes, and it was such a relief and comfort for him to be near and hold my hand.

Then the moment came, at 8:55am on May 15th, 2010. I felt a large tug, then we heard our baby for the first time! It was such an amazing moment with indescribable feelings. I saw him briefly before they carried him over to the table to clean him. Griffin went over and touched his face and talked to him, then they let him hold him and bring him to me. I was surprised that he was the most beautiful newborn I had ever seen. Griffin held him so I could kiss his face, and it was so soft and warm. We decided he was definitely a Matthew.

I didn't expect to be so shaky after the surgery, but finally recovered enough to try nursing. It was frustrating at first, but we finally caught on after a few days. The days in the hospital were a blur, but it was wonderful with deeper emotions than I could have imagined. And even though things didn't turn out how I wanted, I learned to value relationship above any dreams I might have. 

Thank you Cindy for sharing your story. What a sweet blessing Matthew is!